The King's Lover-Chapter 500: Just A Little Longer

"And if I say the only way that can happen is if you let me go?"

Caius couldn’t hide his horror, and the worst part was that Rose asked this question without an iota of emotion on her face while he could feel his heart twist. It felt as though she had stabbed a knife through it, and she was telling him it was just a bruise.

He didn’t want to let her go. He would rather lock her in a room and throw away the key if that was the only way, but her unhappiness affected him, and he knew he would just be as miserable as she was likely to be.

"Do you want to leave me?" he asked. His voice was hoarse, as though he was gasping for air, and he was. Caius wasn’t quite sure he could remember how to breathe.

"Your Majesty," Rose softly called, keeping her expression as stoic as possible. "That’s not what I asked."

Rose needed to know if he would abide by her wishes even if it wasn’t something he wanted. She feared they were incompatible and that marriage was likely to do more damage than fix anything.

Caius closed his eyes briefly. If he agreed, she would leave him, and he didn’t want that. But if he said no, she would refuse to marry him, and even if she never left, things would change.

"How long would you need?" His voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

"That would be for me to decide."

"Can I decide when you can leave?"

Rose shook her head. "That defeats the purpose."

"When will you leave?" he asked.

"I can’t tell you that, and Your Majesty still hasn’t answered the question."

"I don’t want to," Caius said and placed his head on the table.

"Is that your decision?" Rose asked coldly.

"No," Caius yelled and lifted his head from the table. "No," he said more softly this time. "That’s not what I mean."

He stood to his feet haphazardly, ignoring the loud sound the chair made as it stumbled backwards. He took off his crown and placed it on the table with a loud sound, then rounded the table and walked to where she sat.

It didn’t matter if he was King. Caius wasn’t trying to force his authority on her, rather he wanted her to pick him.

His legs felt like jelly as he stood beside her. Rose lifted her head so she could meet his eyes. Her expression didn’t change; she just stared at him composedly.

"Do you have to leave? Can’t we find some way around it?" Caius gripped the edge of the table as he asked, it was either that or he was likely to fall on his face.

"No," Rose stated. "I don’t want that. I’d like to leave."

"And that’s your decision?" he questioned.

"Yes, Your Majesty."

She wasn’t saying she would leave him forever, but she also wasn’t giving him a time frame. He didn’t want her to leave, and not at this time. He needed her right here beside him.

"Is that all?" he asked.

Rose raised a brow, but she knew better than to raise her hopes. He still hadn’t answered the question and was still finding a way around it. His delay broke her heart. It shouldn’t be so difficult to not see each other for some time if it meant they would get married.

You just told me you love me, is that simply words?

"That’s the first step."

"I fear you won’t come back to me."

"Your Majesty doesn’t trust me?" Rose asked.

"No," he shook his head. "Far from it. I trust you with my life." Caius knew there was no lie in his words. He had enough proof of this; she had saved him twice.

"Then what?"

Caius sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I have wronged you, and I try to make up for it, but I worry that won’t change anything and that I have ruined things too much for them to be fixed. And if you leave, you will see exactly that I am not worth the trouble."

Rose bit the inside of her cheeks. It was either that or her expression would give her away.

"I am sorry, Rose. I really am. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I had done things differently. I am not much without you. The best part of every single day is the moment you’re by my side. I don’t want that to ever change. But if this is what you need to believe that I am not trying some ploy to keep you with me for the sake of having you there, I—I will let you leave. But I simply ask that perhaps you’d write me a letter when you can so I know you’re safe."

Caius looked on the verge of tears, and if one were to look at his heart, it was completely battered and bent out of shape. However, he knew better than anyone that this was the least he could do to try to fix things.

He had once whipped Rose until she fainted, and if Rylen had not stopped it, it could have been worse. He really did regret this, and he wouldn’t have faced this part of the awful things he had done to Rose.

He never wanted to face them and that was why he was quick to offer her marriage and do anything that would keep her with him for as long as possible but she was asking to leave and he had to let her go.

Rose watched Caius. He looked like he might fall at any moment. His hand kept opening and closing as though he wanted to reach for her but was stopping himself.

Rose stood up and curtsied. "Thank you for letting me go, Your Majesty, and for your apology."

She turned around and slowly started to walk towards the door. Caius moved before he thought about it. He didn’t realize what he was doing until he wrapped his arms around her.

Rose had to stop walking immediately, not that she could take a single step if she tried. Caius was holding her in place. His arms wrapped around her shoulders, and his head rested on the back of her head.

"Promise me you’ll be back," his voice sounded as though he was on the verge of tears.

And Rose felt her will shatter. He didn’t even cry when his father died.

"You’ll have to trust me, Your Majesty."

"I do," he replied. "So let me hold you for just a little longer. Just a little longer."