The King's Lover-Chapter 501: Goodbye, Your Majesty
Rose nodded and didn’t try to push him away. Rather, she let him cling to her, holding her close. She could feel his hurt, and Rose had to keep reminding herself that this was necessary, or she risked turning around and hugging him while yelling that it was simply to make sure Caius meant his words.
He held her for quite some time without saying anything, and Rose let him hang on for as long as he needed. He pulled her tighter as though he wanted to absorb her.
Caius didn’t want her to leave. He wasn’t ready yet. He needed to clear up a lot of things. There were too many things she didn’t know yet. As much as he wanted to blurt them out, Caius was willing to adhere to her request to let her leave.
However, it hurt that he couldn’t ask where she was going or how long she would be away, and worst of all, she didn’t say she would write to him. She just thanked him for letting her go and for his apology.
Caius took a deep breath. He wanted to remember exactly what she smelled like, exactly how she felt in his arms, and every other little thing. He didn’t know how long he had before he would be able to do this again, so for now he wanted to take in as much as he was allowed to.
Rose lifted her hand and lightly touched him on his arm that was around her shoulder. It was time. He had to let her go.
Caius started to shake his head slowly, but he immediately stopped himself. "You may request Thomas or Maximus, whomever you are comfortable with, and discuss your plans to leave the castle. They would ensure your safety."
Rose nodded. "Thank you, Your Majesty."
"Will I be able to see you before you leave?"
"Goodbye, Your Majesty," Rose whispered and pulled away from his grasp.
Caius nodded and let his hands fall to his sides. He was going to ask her to marry him again; he had prepared a royal signet for the occasion, one that would give her authority.
He hated every part of this, but she wasn’t going away forever, he kept reminding himself. It was temporary. She was going to come back to him, and even though the voices in his head yelled otherwise, Caius did his best to suppress them as he watched Rose exit his bedchambers. She didn’t even turn around once.
Rose shut the door behind her before she briskly made her way to her room. As she walked down the hallway with guards standing around, the night wind drifted through, and Rose remembered she had left her scarf. However, she had no intention to go back and get it.
She had deliberately not turned back to look at Caius because then she would have told him she wasn’t going anywhere. She would have spent the entire night with him and told him she would want nothing more than to marry him too.
She got to the door of her bedroom and walked in. Rose locked the door behind her and slid down until her rear hit the tiles. She bent her knees and buried her face in them.
She needed a moment to regulate her emotions, to fight the urge to rush back out to his room. After she was certain she was calm enough, Rose slowly lifted her head and tried to recollect her thoughts.
She was truly surprised Caius was willing to let her go, but she was glad. She had thought it would just prove her fears, but all she had seen was how much he truly wanted her.
It was hard to just sit there and pretend she didn’t feel a thing while Caius poured his heart out. When he said he loved her, she almost jumped out of her seat.
Rose took a deep breath and pushed herself off the floor. She slipped out of her clothes, letting them pool on the ground. Then she made her way to the wardrobe and slipped into one of her nightdresses before she got into bed.
Even before her skin touched the bed, Rose knew she wasn’t going to get any sleep. Her thoughts churned, and her heart wouldn’t stop aching. 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚
Some time passed, and she still hadn’t fallen asleep. Rose rolled so she was lying on her side but it didn’t matter how she lay, no position felt comfortable. At this point, the sun would rise, and she would still be awake.
Rose was still scolding herself when she heard a loud, familiar sound. It wasn’t as loud as she thought, and if she had been fast asleep, she wouldn’t have heard it.
Rose didn’t hear footsteps, but she could tell she wasn’t alone. Someone was watching her. She could take a guess, and under no circumstances did she want him to think she was awake.
Caius stood at the edge of her bed, watching her. He didn’t dare move closer; he risked waking her up, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to pull away. He would join her in bed and never let her leave him.
He had gone through the most severe training anyone could think of. He had stayed up multiple nights in a row as part of his training and had endured pain that could drive anyone mad. Yet, here he was, crashing over the fact that Rose was leaving.
It hurt more than he could explain, and it was most confusing as it wasn’t physical. But somehow, it did feel like someone had stabbed him where his heart was. He couldn’t sleep. He had tried, but hadn’t had much luck since last night.
Caius forced himself to return the same way he had come. It took effort, and he had to keep reminding himself that it would be worth it in the end. That this much suffering was little compared to what he would do for Rose to make sure he had her forever.
