THE Knight's Hidden Princess-Chapter 209: My Fault

I took extra care in bathing myself that day and I also took proper care of my appearance. Reagan had packed some of my dresses and I didn’t want to wear them before but I had to. I found a silk dress that still fitted me a little bit. It was less obvious than the rest so I picked it up. The last thing I wanted was to look like I had been through hell. I still wanted to look like I was the lady of the house. They were going to be expecting someone that was broken. Someone that had been through hell, a reflection of what I had once been.

I wasn’t going to give them that.

I let my hair down, letting the dark curls tumble down my shoulders so they could at least hide my thin face. I couldn’t get some make up so I had to improvise a bit. I found some crushed berried in the kitchen which was from a left over tarts that the Hilde had brought me. I used bit of it on my lips and applied some to my cheeks just so my skin could look like it had a bit of color. It was nothing fancy but it did the job just right.

My hands trembled a little as I smoothed the dark plum dress that I was wearing. The silk material felt very soft against my skin and it fitted around my body at the waist but fell slightly below hips. Although it didn’t stick to me as much as I wanted it too but it still looked graceful. Presentable and it made me feel pretty enough instead of looking like I had just walked the seven hells.

My hair framed my face and even though there wasn’t anything much I could do about my eyes because they still carried that haunted look. There was something else, something that I had thought had left me completely.

Fire.

I had survived something horrible, a terrible thing that not many survived. I was a survivor, I was lucky to be alive and I was no longer going to sink deep into the shadows to hide.

My name is Dahlia Hawthorne, the lady of house Hawthorne and wife to Reagan, the bravest knight in the country and now, I was back!

Drawing in a deep breath, I decided to step out of the bedroom where I met Killian waiting for me. I haven’t seen him a long time, mostly because I have been avoiding everyone on the ship and because I was already in a dark place. I never got to thank him for saving my life, he didn’t need to but he had come even if it meant going to war.

Immediately he saw me, Killian immediately straightened, his gaze assessing me with a slow look befpre a pleased smile formed on his face.

"My lady." He acknowledged with a bow.

"Killian." I called with a small smile on my face.

Killian glanced up at me and in a typical ’Killian’ way, he shot me a wink. The smile on my face immediately widened.

"I see you are still charming." I said as I stared at the smirk on his face.

He was so charming and confident and it doesn’t seem to take him much effort. Besides the way he stared at me with that small smirk on his face made me feel a little bit good about myself. It felt like he was trying to establish a personal connection with me.

Like his way of silently saying I see you and you are still you.

Clearing my throat, I looked around. "Where’s Reagan."

"Out sorting some things." Killian said as he grabbed my arm with his, "When we saved you we didn’t expect to save that much people. Some of them are ready to go back home but most of them are scared to go back home. Some of them don’t even have a home to go to."

We probably should have thought about all of this. Here I was being excited to be back home I never thought about what it would be like for the other prisoners I had escaped with. Some had families to go back home to and others do not. Others lived a life that was probably just as worse as that of the prison.

The weight of it all pressed against my chest like heavy iron. We had escaped, we were now free but not everyone found his escape, freedom was different for some people. Some people do not know what they would meet the out there the moment we get out of this ship, was it going to be freedom or a fate that was worse than prison.

I had been so focused on myself, the hurt, my own recovery that I never once stopped to think about what others were going through. I automatically decided that I was the only one who had it bad.

"Don’t do that."

I blinked as I looked up at Killian with a small frown. "I don’t understand."

"Do you think I do not see what you are doing?" Killian asked confusing me even further, "I know that you’ve gone to that part of your head where you do nothing except blame yourself."

"If I don’t blame myself then who else am I supposed to?"

Killian paused and turned to look at me, "Now you listen to me Dahlia Hawthorne." He said and I stared up at him.

"You are the bravest person I know and the strongest. When we wanted to save just you, you said you wouldn’t be going anywhere without the others. You survived hell and you had no reason to save anyone but you did even though you barely made it out yourself and now you think it’s your job to fic the pieces that everyone else left shattered?"

"Well isn’t it?" I threw at him, "I just feel so selfish..."

"You are not!" Killian interrupted me firmly as he took a step closer. "You are many things and being selfish isn’t one of them Dahlia. I know you feel this people are your responsibility but maybe it’s time to make them responsible for themselves. It’s okay to no have everything handled by yourself, alright."

I stared up at Killian with a small smile on my face. "You just always know the right things to say, how do you that?"

Killian straightened the lapels of his jacket. "Just think of it as one of my many qualities to woo the ladies." He responded and I had to smack his arm.

Killian laughed as he danced away from my touch and he was just about to say something when all of a sudden we heard a loud cry.