The Lycan king-Chapter 28

*Leonora*

I was in utter bliss. If this is what being in a relationship with Jax felt like, I wouldn’t mind it. We were lying in bed and his hand was carefully stroking my thigh. By lying in bed, I mean, I was lying on top of him. Jax had literally sung me to sleep and he still didn’t know I was awake already. From what I could make from my squinted eyes, it was already dark out. I had literally slept the whole day! I wouldn’t even blame myself. Last night was a mess and my body needed to rest after everything I’ve been through. And to make it better, my wolf felt a lot calmer next to Jax.

It felt like I’ve found the right piece to my clearly messed up puzzle but I shouldn’t be happy about this. I’m not meant to be happy about this. I still don’t know why Jax had decided to treat me nicely. I needed to be on guard. I needed to be smarter than him.

"I know you’re awake." I heard him mumble with a very hoarse, might I also add, sexy voice. I was in bliss. I wanted to fall asleep and wake up to that voice everyday.

Fuck!

I needed to be on guard. Why was I feeling some kind of warmness inside of me? This was all a game. Jax is playing a game. I kept telling myself. I had to constantly remind myself that he didn’t want me and his mind is definitely not changing anytime soon.

"You don’t know anything." I mumbled against his shirt, still not opening my eyes to look at him. I didn’t know what to expect from him. One minute he’s cold and the next minutes hot.

"You might have to go back to your makeshift bed." He said and I sighed, nodding at his words. It’s not like I wasn’t expecting it. "I’ve been trying to hold myself back but I can’t. I really want you but I know you’re not ready so it’s better I-"

"No need to explain." I said as I opened my eyes and finally sat up. His hands glided over my thighs to my waist and I smacked his hands off. I got off him and slipped out of the bed, pulling my-his shirt to cover myself. I walked over to my corner of the room and sat down, crossing my legs in front of me.

"Leonora. Are you mad at me?" He asked and I scoffed. What else was I meant to feel for him? He doesn’t know half of what he had done to me and today shows that he never will. "I can tell her not to come over again if you’re not comfortable."

"Don’t worry about it, King Jax." I said as I moved my legs, folding it in front of me. I tried to adjust the dress so that I wouldn’t be giving him a show. "I’m fine." I wasn’t fine. I wasn’t fine. Why did I give myself a chance like that? Why did I think I would be happy? Jax would never make me feel loved and I needed to accept it now. I laid my head on my legs and closed my eyes.

"Leonora, we just laid in bed together. You can talk to me about anything. If you don’t like something let me know." He said as I looked over at his bed. He was seated and staring at me. There was a bit of light coming from the window and it shone directly on him. "You know what, I’ll tell her to go back."

"You don’t need to do that, for real." I said. "We are not dating and you’re not obligated to be loyal to me. You can sleep with whoever you want. Just let me go back to the staff quarters at night."

"I want you here, Leonora." He said as he got down from the bed. He walked over to me and sat down beside me. He pulled my hands until he could lace our fingers together. "You are my mate and I’m loyal to you. Until we go our separate ways, I am loyal to you."

"Why do you not want me? Is there something wrong with me? Do I repulse you that much?" I finally asked him the questions that have been plaguing my mind. I remember when I first got my apartment. I would look at the mirror everyday and cry to myself, wondering why Jax could never love me. Wondering why I wasn’t special. Wondering why he rejected me. I know I’m not as beautiful as a lot of girls in this pack but I didn’t think I was that bad.

"You could never repulse me. I am deeply attracted to you." He said and I sighed. I didn’t know if I should believe him. I know I shouldn’t trust him but my heart wanted to. 𝒇𝙧𝙚𝓮𝙬𝙚𝓫𝒏𝓸𝓿𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝙤𝓶

I don’t know what’s coming over me! I needed help. I needed to be out of this room as soon as possible. Being here with Jax was making me lose my senses. I needed to remind myself that he was the same man that beat me not too long ago.

"Jax, just go to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow." I said and he sighed. There was no way to recover from sending me away. He felt it was the right thing to do because I wouldn’t sleep with him. I don’t think he knew how hurtful it was to my wolf.

"Yeah, we’ll talk tomorrow morning." He said as he pulled his hand away from mine and stood up. I wanted to tell him to sit with me. To stay but he was a grown man and he could do whatever he wanted but he chose to get up and walk away to his bed. "You can join me in bed, if you want."

Did he want me to join him in bed? What did he mean by if I want? I hated that statement. It was so annoying, just like Jax.