The Romantic Trials Of A Transmigrated Empress-Chapter 349: She had no words.

Two hours later, Lady Iryne emerged from the cauldron with a flawless skin. She also looked ten years younger, like a snake that had molted out of its old skin. The sight of her left everyone speechless.

Even Sigrid had not expected the effect.

"My goodness. Can I go next?" Duchess Mila asked Sigrid.

"You would need to be glitter bombed first." Sigrid told her.

As Lady Iryne was being escorted into the house, they heard a splash. When everyone turned around, they heard maids screaming Kip’s name.

Half an hour later, Iryne Thorin was made to sit at her reading table and pen another letter. While she was willing to write a letter, she did not feel comfortable writing it under the watchful eye of her mother-in-law that really wanted some fairy glitter.

[To: Secret Council of Fairy godmothers.

Dear Dame Twilight Appleblossom,

Let me begin my letter by sharing the little fact that I was aghast, extremely so when the glitter you sent exploded in my face. Perhaps a heads up next time so that I can save it the proper way.

I must say that I found the tone of your correspondence mildly lacking. My daughter Sigrid {The mage} can break the spell on any glass slipper you create. If you need proof of this send us a pair. I also would not mind owning a pair of size six glass slippers. If they could arrive before Lady Aberdon’s ball which is in two weeks, I will be very grateful.

Back to serious business. Your claim that godmothering is about empowerment does not sit well with me. It was not empowering when Cinderella was left barefoot in a forest with a shattered pumpkin, no transport home and rags for clothes. For heaven sake, the least you could have done is given the lass a coat to keep off the cold.

You call it empowerment, I call it abandonment.

Concerning your offer of making me a godmother for a week. I will take it. Tell me where and when and I will be there with a suitcase, a wand and glass slippers. I might have to bring my husband along because he cannot survive without me. Except for the times when he goes off to war.

I have something that I would like to discuss. Call it a bone to pick if you may. Recently, a story book has been circulating in my empire. The title of the book is Snow white and the seven dwarfs.

Apparently it is beloved among the children and the dwarfs but I am deeply concerned for I fear it is teaching the wrong lessons. I don’t know if this is your department as well but as it falls under fairy tales and you are fairy godmothers, I am assuming that you know who is in charge of this one.

To begin: A magic mirror that delivers accurate gossip to the queen daily. How does it do it? And why doesn’t it ever lie to spare the Queen’s feelings?

Secondly, who gives a stranger shelter after one song and a sweeping of the kitchen? The dwarfs, while charming seem to collectively share one apple sized brain. I question their vetting process, especially considering that they live in the woods.

Snow white was no better than them. Who moves in with strangers at the snap of a finger. Did she leave her own brain back in the castle?

Thirdly, THE APPLE INCIDENT. So a girl who has already survived on assassination attempt ate an apple given to her by a strange old woman in the woods. Does the phrase stranger danger ring no bells in the enchanted forest?

Not only did she move in with seven strange dwarfs but she ate an apple casually given to her by a stranger. It pains me to call her stupid but my goodness!!! What else am I supposed to call her?

Also--true love’s kiss? Not a single chaperone in sight? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but men {even princes} don’t just go around kissing princesses randomly anymore. The laws in our empire and other kingdoms around us have been changed over time. You need consent to kiss someone {Unless it is a spontaneous burst of passion}.

I am of the suggestion that you put a consent scroll in Snow white’s hands next time. I shudder to think of the legal ramifications if she had awakened mid-kiss and screamed assault.

This only true love’s kiss scenario reminds me a lot of only Cinderella’s feet could fit in the glass slipper. I refuse to believe either of them.

In conclusion, I I request for the following.

1. A through evaluation of Snow White’s decision-making process.

2. A guidebook for dwarfs on stranger protocol and emergency response.

3. Lessons for Snow White on stranger danger.

4. A fruit checking spell, if it’s not too much trouble.

I did not even come around to her name, Snow White. Just because you give birth to a daughter with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as ebony does not mean that she should be named Snow White. Where is her royal name in all this?

Was her father named King White?

If she was born with green skin and horns on her head, would she have been named Green Horn?

I look forward to your next letter. Please send some more fairy glitter. As long as it does not bomb me. Perhaps you could be kind enough to put it in a bag.

Warmest regards,

Lady Iryne Thorin, Mother of Mage Crown princess Sigrid Thorin, Analyzer of fairy tales, Overseer of Little Thorin restaurants, Soon to be executioner of the snake queen.]

****

Before handing the letter over to Cosmos, Sigrid read it first and then she folded it giggling all through. She was not alone in laughing, Cosmos was also getting a kick out of it.

He knew the other officers in the bank would laugh as much when they read it.

"You Sir, are swindling my mother." Sigrid said to him as she handed it over. "We both know that these stories are fiction. I thought it would end with Cinderella, I did not think Snow White would make it into her letters."

"An apple sized brain." Cosmos bellowed, laughing even more than before.

"I hope the actual dwarfs living here will not actually hear of this." Sigrid wiped happy tears from the corner of her eyes. "I am actually looking forward to the response to this letter. I hope Snow White will have an explanation for why she ate that poisoned apple. Honestly, it has never made sense to me."

"In that case, I will deliver the letter now." Cosmos took it and vanished from the room.

He was eager too for these correspondences to continue.

Updated from fr𝒆ewebnov𝒆l.(c)om