The temptation of my brother-in-law-Chapter 65 - sixty five

Chapter Sixty-Five

Alicia’s POV

When Sophie and I entered the house, we heard the tail end of their conversation. The words hit me like a physical blow. Their words didn’t slip. They were intentional.

Barren. They were talking about me being barren.

Sophie looked up at me, confused. I forced a smile on my face before turning and walking away. I didn’t want her to see how those words affected me. Didn’t want her to know how they cut.

"Are you okay?" Sophie asked quietly as we climbed the stairs.

I managed to smile.

"Yes, sweetheart. I’m fine."

But I wasn’t fine. I was far from it. Those words kept echoing in my head. Barren. Like I was defective. Broken. Less than.

It was almost three years since my marriage to Travis now. Three years of this cold, empty arrangement. People looked at us and wondered why there were no children. Why the young Mrs. Blackwood hadn’t produced an heir yet.

But they didn’t know the truth. Didn’t know what happened behind closed doors.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be intimate in the beginning. I’d tried. Thought maybe if we could connect physically, we could build something. Some kind of partnership at least.

I longed for that feeling that came with intimacy.

I longed for a yearning man.

But Travis drank heavily— every night. And when he was drunk, he would keep mumbling some other woman’s name. Over and over like a prayer. Like a curse.

That’s what made me know he didn’t like me at all. Didn’t want me. Would never want me. No matter how hard I tried.

I remembered back then, he always stared at a woman’s picture. I’d seen it once when I’d gone into his study looking for a book. He had the picture locked up in his safe, but the safe had been open that day.

A beautiful woman. She had dark hair and a bright smile. She was someone he clearly loved. Someone he longed for. And I was nothing.

I knew no matter what she did, his heart was with the girl in the photo. There was no room for me. Had never been room for me in that dark hear in his chest.

"Alicia?" Sophie’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. "Are you sure you’re okay?"

"Yes. I’m fine. Go to your room and freshen up. I’ll check on you in a bit."

She looked uncertain but nodded and went to her room. I continued down the hall to mine.

When I opened the door, I found Travis inside. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with a bottle of wine in his hand. Already half empty.

He looked up when I entered. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked unfocused.

"There she is," he slurred. "The bloody slut herself."

I closed the door behind me. Didn’t respond. I’d learned not to engage when he was like this.

"You wanted to kill me, didn’t you?" He took another drink straight from the bottle.

The harsh sound of his gulping filled the silence.

"That’s why you kept me unconscious in the hospital. So you could taste freedom."

"Travis, you’re drunk."

I threw him a glance.

"Don’t tell me what I am!" He stood up, swaying slightly like a mad man. "You’re evil. That’s what you are. Evil."

I was used to his usual ramblings whenever he was drunk. The accusations. The anger. The misplaced blame for whatever was eating him alive inside.

"Prepare me something to eat," he demanded, pointing at me with the bottle.

"No."

I looked at him, disgusted that he was my husband.

He blinked, clearly surprised. "What did you say?"

"I said no. Make it yourself. Or have the maids do it."

I knew all along that all of Travis’ earlier kindness from when he came back from the hospital was all a facade. An act he’d put on for the family. For appearances. But alone in this room, the mask always came off.

"You ungrateful bitch," he spat. "I gave you everything. A name. A home. Protection."

"You gave me a cage."

He cursed at me. A string of words I’d heard too many times to count. I didn’t flinch. Just stood there, doing my own thing. Taking off my jewelry. Preparing to change clothes.

Travis kept rambling. About how I didn’t appreciate him. About how I should be grateful. About how no one else would have married me.

"I need Bianca," he said suddenly. "Where the hell is Bianca?"

I frowned. Now that he mentioned it, I realized I hadn’t seen Bianca around the house in weeks. His usual companion. The woman who used to show up at all hours. Parading herself as Travis’ lover. The only one who understood what he needed.

Maybe she found another client that paid more than Travis did. Someone less broken. Less drunk. Less pathetic.

I wasn’t bothered. Bianca’s absence made my life easier if anything. At least I didn’t have to deal with her fights.

Travis stumbled toward the door, still clutching his bottle like it was oxygen. "I’m going to find her. She understands me. Not like you."

He left, slamming the door behind him.

I immediately went to the door and locked it properly. Turned the deadbolt. Made sure he couldn’t just walk back in whenever he wanted.

I hated being with Travis. Hated this room. This house. This life.

I wanted to leave. God, I wanted to leave so badly. Pack up Sophie and disappear. Start over somewhere new where no one knew our names or our history.

She’d go to another school, and I’d start up a small business.

But Pa Wood sponsoring Sophie’s school was really complicating things. The tuition alone was more than I could afford. And if I left, that would end. Sophie would lose her chance at a good education. She seemed really happy in her new school. Already made friends in a few days.

And I couldn’t really say we were safe without the Blackwood’s protection. My father was still out there. Still dangerous. Still angry that I’d taken Sophie and run.

The Blackwood name kept him at bay. Kept him from showing up and trying to take Sophie back. Without that protection, we’d be vulnerable.

So I stayed. Trapped by gratitude and fear and circumstance.

I sat on the edge of the bed, the same spot Travis had been sitting moments ago. The room felt suffocating. Like the walls were closing in.

My phone buzzed. A text from Malachi.

"Are you okay?"

Just three words. But they made my throat tight.

It felt like he knew just what was going through my mind at the time.

I typed back. "I’m fine."

"Liar."

I stared at the screen. He always saw through me. Always knew when I was pretending.

"Can I come see you?" he texted.

I looked at the locked door. At the empty room. At the life I was trapped in.

"Not tonight," I typed. "Travis is on a rampage."

"I’ll handle Travis."

"No. Just leave it. I’ll be fine."

There was a long pause. Then another message.

"You shouldn’t have to deal with this."

"But I do."

"It doesn’t have to be this way."

I didn’t know how to respond to that. Didn’t know what he was suggesting. What he was offering.

"Goodnight, Malachi," I typed finally.

He didn’t respond. Just left me on read.

I set my phone down and lay back on the bed. Stared at the ceiling. Thought about the word they’d used.

Barren.

Like I was empty. Hollow. Incapable of creating life.

But how could I bring a child into this? Into this cold mansion full of cold people? Into a marriage with a man who hated me? Into a family that destroyed everything good?

Maybe being barren was a blessing. Maybe it was the universe protecting some innocent child from being born into this nightmare.

I wasn’t a baby machine. I’d have kids when I want to and with a man of my choosing.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think. Tried not to feel. I wanted to be numb. There were so many things happening recently. Things I didn’t want to even remember.

I tried not to wish I was somewhere else. With someone else. Living a different life entirely.

But the wish came anyway. Unbidden and unwanted.

I wished I was with Malachi. In his room. In his arms. Where everything felt different. Where I felt different.

Where I felt alive instead of just surviving.

I wished I could sniff in his cologne and have only thoughts of him through the night. He hold me tight like he wanted me to stay forever. He’d tell me everything was alright and I didn’t need to over think at all.

But that was a dangerous wish. A foolish wish. It was totally poisonous.

So I pushed it away and focused on sleep. On making it through another night in this prison I called home.

"Maybe it’s all for the best."