Chapter 1563: Chapter 1565: Righteous and Confident

Lu Xiaobu’s not scared of shit!

He hadn’t forgotten that old principal and that whatever-his-name-is Lei guy were still counting on him.

This was what he called using and counter-using!

You want my help? Then at the very least you’ve gotta let me live safely till then, otherwise, help your ass.

Of course, this "help" definitely only extended to Nanshan City, or more precisely, Nanshan Academy.

Once they left the academy, there was no need for them to put in that much effort.

But inside the school, they absolutely wouldn’t let Lu Xiaobu die. Of course, if someone beat him up a bit, they’d be more than happy to watch.

Premise being: if anyone could actually beat him!

"Stop! Didn’t I tell you not to come over?!"

The old man was a bit pissed.

He really hated people bothering him at a time like this!

"You say it and I’m just supposed to listen?" Lu Xiaobu rolled his eyes.

"You don’t know who I am?!" the old man snapped.

"You know who I am?!" Lu Xiaobu shot right back!

"I’m the academy’s one and only Alchemist, you dare defy me?!" the old man was furious.

Even the principal gave him some face, and this brat who was obviously a student actually dared go against him?!

"I’m the Ear-Slap Maniac, Lu Xiaobu. You looking for a beating?!" Lu Xiaobu wasn’t backing down at all.

Mm, he’d already accepted the title of Ear-Slap Maniac.

He had so many weird nicknames anyway, one more didn’t matter!

"Ear-Slap Maniac?! Even if you are, you still can’t defy me! I’m at the Foundation Establishment Stage!" The old man had clearly heard of Lu Xiaobu too.

"It’s not like I’ve never slapped someone at the Foundation Establishment Stage before! What the hell do you want?" Lu Xiaobu rolled his eyes.

He was a hundred percent sure he couldn’t beat a Golden Core, but Foundation Establishment? He really didn’t take them that seriously!

"Fuck!" The old man was so mad his Three Corpse Gods were about to explode: "I’m older than you! Show some respect to your elders!"

At this point it wasn’t even about stopping or not, it was about saving face!

Lu Xiaobu: "I’m younger than you, so you gotta cherish the young!"

The old man: "I’m working right now, no interruptions!"

Lu Xiaobu: "I’m wandering around right now, none of your damn business!"

The old man: "You dare piss me off, I won’t refine pills for you in the future!"

Lu Xiaobu: "You dare piss me off, I’ll have the Violent Martial Class rob everyone who comes to you for Alchemy!"

The old man: "Them getting robbed, what’s that got to do with me? I’m still not refining pills for you!"

Lu Xiaobu: "If no one comes to you for Alchemy, what kind of bullshit Alchemist are you?"

The old man: "Fuck your grandpa!"

Lu Xiaobu: "I’m your grandpa!"

"..."

Ten thousand words omitted here!

Yep, this was a very friendly and harmonious discussion!

Aside from the fact that if you actually said it out loud it’d get censored, everything else was great!

The old man: "I...I...I..."

He was about to cough up blood from rage!

Where the hell did this unkillable, stubborn bastard come from?!

Motherfucker, this is way too hard to deal with!

The kid knew way too many swear words, he couldn’t even keep up!

Lu Xiaobu smiled faintly, looking down on all living beings!

Trash talk, huh?!

Back when he was verbally brawling with internet trolls, it’s not like they hadn’t seen it!

Now it was just one old man. Piece of cake!

Of course, after whacking someone with a stick, you should give them a sweet date too!

"Food is meant to be shared, why so damn stingy?" Lu Xiaobu said with a big grin.

The old man didn’t want to talk, but looking at Lu Xiaobu already walking up to him, he knew that whether he spoke or not, it’d all be the same shit.

Might as well say a couple words.

"Food? You into good food too?"

The old man said stiffly.

"Of course. As a representative of the foodie nation, how could I possibly not love to eat?" Lu Xiaobu said with a grin.

"Foodie? That’s an interesting word." The old man nodded, his attitude inexplicably softening a lot.

How did that saying go again?

Since you can’t resist, you might as well enjoy it!

That was his mentality right now!

If he couldn’t win at cursing, then they might as well study things together.

What? You’re saying they should fight?!

Are you insane?!

He was an Alchemist, how much combat power could he possibly have?

And this Lu Xiaobu was the guy who could slap people at the Foundation Establishment Stage so hard they couldn’t even fight back!

Thinking of this, he sighed: "Alright, come take a look then."

Lu Xiaobu happily accepted, took two steps forward, looked at the shabby little kitchen, and frowned: "Eh? Where’s the food?"

"Right here!"

The old man pointed at the pot.

"You call this crap food?!" Lu Xiaobu’s anger instantly flared!

A whole pot of pitch-black, bubbling sludge, and this could actually be called food?!

If you didn’t know better you’d think some witch doctor was brewing poison!

"If you don’t like it, don’t eat!" The old man’s old face flushed red. This was exactly why he hated being disturbed.

The presentation was just too damn awful!

Then he muttered, "You really think this Bluecloud Crane from a small world is something an average person can eat? No one else even knows how to cook it. I made it into something edible at all, that’s already pretty impressive!"

Mm, the old man was trying to save his own face!

"Crap is crap, and you still won’t admit it? Dying for face and living in suffering!"

Lu Xiaobu rolled his eyes as he spoke.

Instantly, the old man was triggered.

The anger from earlier hadn’t even cooled yet.

Now this brat was messing around for no reason—how the hell was he supposed to tolerate that!

"Bang!"

The old man tossed half a carcass onto the counter—about the size of half a pig, and if you squinted you could barely tell it used to be some kind of bird-type creature.

Then he glared at Lu Xiaobu: "If you’ve got the balls, make one yourself! If you can cook something better than mine, I’ll follow you!"

Motherfucker! Seriously now, if you had skills and talked big, fine. But if you’ve got no skills and still pretend, that he couldn’t stand!

"You mean it?" Lu Xiaobu looked at the old man, clearly skeptical: "What if you go back on your word?!"

"Fuck!"

The old man was really provoked now.

"I swear to the Heavenly Dao, if you cook a dish better than mine, I’ll follow you. Otherwise, may lightning strike me, and my Cultivation will never advance another inch!" the old man roared as he swore!

"Add one more: you lose your sense of taste, and shit and gourmet food taste exactly the same." Lu Xiaobu said calmly.

"Holy shit! That’s fucking vicious!" The old man was scared silly!

This guy was too ruthless.

To a food lover, losing your taste, and having shit and gourmet food taste the same?!

That was more vicious than never advancing in Cultivation!

But!

He gritted his teeth: "Fine, I swear! I swear to the Heavenly Dao, if you cook a dish better than mine, I’ll follow you. Otherwise, may lightning strike me, my Cultivation never advance another inch, and my sense of taste be lost so that shit and gourmet food taste exactly the same!"

"Perfect!"

Lu Xiaobu clapped twice.

"Your turn to swear!"

The old man glared viciously at Lu Xiaobu.

He also wanted this brat to make a nasty oath!

Mhm, if he couldn’t cook it, then he’d get slapped in the face by people every single day!

As the Ear-Slap Maniac, he definitely wouldn’t be able to take that!

Result!

"Why should I swear?" Lu Xiaobu shrugged. "I didn’t force you to swear just now, and I never agreed I’d swear anything myself!"

The way he said it was completely righteous and confident!

"Pff!"

The old man spat out three kilometers’ worth of old blood!

Too fucking shameless!

Way too fucking shameless!

Goddammit, how could I have actually believed someone this shameless?!