SOPHIA

For a moment, neither one of us moved. I could feel the stiffness in his muscles, the breath he held in his lungs, the frantic beat of his heart.

My hands were on his chest and beneath my palms I felt the shape and firmness of his pectorals. Beneath me, the hard plane of his abs pressed again my stomach. And below that...

"Wh-what is that pressing into my ... uh, me."

"What do you mean?" he asked softly. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. His hands gripped my shoulders.

"It’s hard. And long. Feels like a pipe or something."

Nathan started coughing uncontrollably. The jerky movements made the hard thing jab into my belly button.

"Ow!"

Nathan gently rolled me off of him. I lay on my back next to him, the hay poking me through the thin sheet covering it.

"I’m going to go outside for a moment, okay?" He sat up, sucking in breaths like he was never going to breathe again, and swung his legs off the bed. "Isn’t there a pond nearby?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "It’s not that far from here. It’s near the entrance to Velvetleaf, but it’s winter, Nathan. The water is probably freezing."

"Perfect." He stood up. "Lock the door. Don’t answer it for anyone."

"Except Hune, right?"

"Especially not Hune," he groused. "His admiration for you is a thorn in my side."

"What’s that sour smell?" I asked in a teasing tone. I waved my hand under my nose. "Is it vinegar? Or jealousy?"

"You’re mine. Anyone else gets any ideas about you and I’ll twist off their arms and use ’em to beat them to death."

"That’s certainly creative."

"Hmph."

"Have I mentioned you’re cute when you’re grumpy?"

Nathan’s gaze met mine, and I saw a dark hungry flash in his eyes that brought heat to my face. What was he thinking?

What was I thinking?

"Remember, keep the door locked. Don’t open it for anyone. No matter who."

"I’ll try to sleep," I said. "I’ll be fine, Nathan. No one except Tilda knows we’re here."

"That’s some comfort, I guess." His gaze traveled over me and latched on to my bared shoulder. Earlier, I had loosened the ties on my dress in order to sleep more comfortable. Now, the dress had slid down my arm and revealed my shoulder. I felt his gaze on me, almost like a literal touch that made goosebumps pebble my skin.

After a minute or so, he cleared his throat. "Rest well, Sophia."

He left, and I heard lock click as he turned the key on the other side of the door.

***|***|***

NATHAN

The brisk walk to the pond took some of the edge off of my shameful lust. I was already tempting the Fates when I threw all conventions to the wind to sleep with Sophia at night.

After losing her in the last life, I was determined to keep her safe in this one. Short of locking her in a cage forever, there wasn’t a foolproof way to guarantee her security. Even leaving her alone in the inn was making me anxious. But at the moment, I was far more dangerous to Sophia than her being alone in a locked room.

I didn’t want to follow conventions when it came to the death of her husband, either. 100 days of her wearing black, staying out of the public eye, pretending to grieve for a man who never treated her well. I couldn’t bear to watch her go through all of that.

However, as long as the Emperor granted the annulment, I would be able to marry Sophia right away.

I couldn’t wait for her to be my wife, not only in my heart, but also in front of the gods, the Emperor, and the Northern Realm.

The sky was clear, the cold air like razorblades against my cheeks. When I reached the pond, I contemplated jumping in, clothes and all, to calm down my body.

Instead, I squatted at the edge of the water and put my hands into the murky liquid. The freezing temperature of the water stung my flesh. It was enough to cool the heat that tormented me. The heat of desire. Of lust. Of love.

I wanted her so bad.

I submerged my arms in the water. I tried to think about anything, but seeing Sophia’s smooth, pale shoulder, her skin like silk in the flickering candlelight. And that soft, needy look in her eyes ... I groaned. She probably didn’t even realize how she looked. Or that the way she stared at me was enough for me to show her intimacy between a man and a woman.

I didn’t moved away from the frigid pond for a long time. But eventually, my teeth started to chatter and my arms had gone numb. This was not the smartest way to deal with my lust, but I had no choice.

I stood up, water dripping from my arms. I stripped off my jacket, and using a towel I’d grabbed before leaving the room, I dried off my arms. I wrapped myself in my furred cape, and folded the jacket into a bundle.

The walk back seemed to take twice as long as the trek to the pond, but maybe that was a good thing. The longer I stayed away from Sophia, the better I was able to control my baser urges.

Then that image flashed in my mind again. Sophia leaning on her elbow. Her dress sliding down her arm. Candlelight flickering on her creamy skin.

Argh! "You’re killing me," I muttered as I continued toward the inn.

As I got closer, I heard shouting. People stumbled out of the building. In the windows upstairs, thick black smoke crept through the cracks and crannies. I smelled cheap whiskey wafting with the acrid smoke.

I started running. Running as fast as I could. When arrived, flames were at the windows. Glass shattered. Fire burst.

Screams.

Screams from people trapped inside. Screams from those outside, waiting to for their loved ones to escape.

"Sophia!" I yelled as I shoved through the crowd. "Sophia!"

"Your Grace." Hune grabbed my arm and stopped my forward movement. "You can’t gone in there. The fire’s already out of control."

"Let me go! I won’t lose her, Hune. I won’t lose her again!"