"Growing up, I was a child who lacked attention."

Han Lie's voice was deep, naturally exuding a strong sense of desolation.

The method is quite simple: lower my larynx, use chest resonance, add a touch of vocal fry, and out comes a deep voice with a strong, grainy texture. Then, the expression: head bowed about twenty degrees, eyelids lowered as if looking at my toes, lips slightly pursed. No fidgeting with my hands while speaking. That should create a suitably heavy atmosphere. OK, I'm ready. Showtime!

Han Lie, that crafty fellow, had set the mood so perfectly that Chen Yanfei couldn't help but focus and listen intently.

"Other kids would cry and make a fuss to get candy, so they often did. But no matter how much I cried, it was useless—my family was too poor.

Furthermore, my father had a particularly gloomy personality and rarely paid attention to me. My mother was busy all day, constantly exuding an air of irritability. If I ever disturbed her while she was working, I was sure to face an impatient scolding.

So from a young age, I began to envy those children who received attention.

I had thought that as I grew older, things would get better.

Unfortunately, they didn't.

I still couldn't make friends, find love, or find a sense of purpose. I'm actually not stupid, you know? From a young age, I loved reading all sorts of books; I read quite a lot.

But the things I longed for were never celebrated in books.

They praise greatness born from loneliness and suffering, urging people to adapt to and enjoy solitude. They forget that most ordinary people can only continue to suffer in loneliness, never producing anything worth celebrating.

I, too, once firmly believed I should look inward for peace, until that beating from Pan Shaohang finally made me realize something—

Only the strong have the right to talk about benevolence, morality, kindness, transcendence, and peace.

Any friendliness the weak show to the outside world is only because they have no other choice, not because they genuinely want to.

I wanted to fight back then, but I couldn't. Do you really understand that feeling of helplessness?

Later, I didn't want to just let it go either, but what could I have done at that time?

At that moment, I made up my mind—I would break out of the shell that bound me. I wanted to become strong, confront the desires of my heart, respond to the blows of the world, and become a capricious person.

Then, I began to achieve one success after another. At the same time, I naturally began to admit that I just liked the feeling of being surrounded, attended to, and adored by people.

You ask me how I view relationships? It's quite simple. My need for affection is very shallow and also very greedy—I like the emotional value you provide me. It makes me feel alive, not like a cold machine that only calculates probabilities.

I know you might be disappointed in me, but the thing is…

At my age, at this current stage, I can only prioritize satisfying the surging impulses deep inside my heart.

You know, Village Belle?

Actually, you shouldn't have asked that question."

Best Actor Han Lie shook his head, his eyes expressing disappointment and sadness.

"You ask a child who has never felt love what love is. I really want to try to give you an answer that you'd like, but I'm sorry, I can't.

Because I'm always doubting: could anyone really have loved the person I used to be?

But I can tell you what you are in my heart.

You are a ray of light.

When I was at my lowest and most confused, your brilliant smile, your hearty greeting, and your approachable attitude lit up my grim world.

You might not remember it, but I'll never forget—

During the first semester of my first year of high school, I was being bullied by classmates and forced to clean up for them.

You passed by me. I was resentful and cleaning vigorously, and I accidentally shoved the mop under your feet, splattering dirty water on the side of your shoes.

They were a very pretty pair of white Nikes.

I was terrified at the time, feeling as if the sky had fallen.

Instead, you gave a bright smile and said to me, 'Oh, sorry, that was my fault. I didn't notice you were cleaning. Hey, could I borrow that dry rag for a moment?'

I was stunned on the spot, as if I had seen an angel.

At that moment, my mind went blank. I can't remember if I uttered a word, apologized to you, or said anything else. 𝑓𝑟ℯ𝘦𝓌𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝑐ℴ𝓂

After I got home and lay on my bed, I struggled to recall the details, but all that remained in my mind was a vague smile and the image of your bright, neat teeth.

Who are you?

I didn't dare to ask anyone. I just began to search for you in the crowd.

Later, I learned your name, your birthday, your preferences, even your university aspirations... and I resolutely chose to go to the School of Humanities at Shanghai International Studies University.

You could never imagine the ecstasy I felt on the train when I discovered you were sitting right across from me.

Now you ask how I feel about you.

I don't know what unrequited love is like for others, but for me, you're a symbol, a beacon, a Special existence.

So special, I dared not touch.

My greatest fear is that after we truly get together, I suddenly find out you're completely different from the you I had fantasized about.

So don't blame me for being hot and cold; I'm just not ready yet.

What about you?

Are you really sure you're ready?"

Chen Yanfei was perplexed by the question.

Am I ready?

Uh, I don't know…