Bai Li was probably just tired, she told herself. Or maybe she had not noticed. Or maybe she really had thought the message was from one of those people in the group chat. Even so, Yan Cijin could not fully let it go. She thought for a moment, then went to the living room. "Mom, I will go find Bai Li and ask if she wants to come over for dinner."

"Okay, go ahead." Yan Laojin was a little pleasantly surprised. She had never seen her daughter so attentive to anyone before. Yan Laojin glanced up from the kitchen with that same quiet look mothers always had when they could tell their children were already carrying something in their hearts. Yan Cijin did not explain more. She just told the little dumpling to stay home and play with her toys, then went out and knocked on Bai Li’s door. The hallway outside was still a little too quiet, the kind of quiet that felt strange after the day they had all had. Yan Cijin stood in front of Bai Li’s door, thinking for a second about how she should word things if Bai Li answered coldly again. She did not want to be pushy, but she also did not want to just walk away without asking.

Bai Li was sitting in front of her computer at the moment. She quickly saw Yan Cijin through the security camera. Bai Li got up and left the bedroom, closed the door, and then went out to turn on the security door. "Is there something you need? Come in." Bai Li made way for Yan Cijin to come in. Her tone was polite, even a little careful, which was not unusual for her in front of someone she did not know how to handle yet. Yan Cijin walked in and looked around briefly, then looked back at Bai Li with a quiet, direct expression. "Okay." Yan Cijin pursed her lips and looked at Bai Li. "You rejected my friend request?" Bai Li blinked once and looked at her for a second before answering. "What is it?" she asked subconsciously. "It’s WeChat. I added you at noon, but you rejected me." Yan Cijin said, her tone slightly aggrieved. Bai Li’s expression shifted just a little. "Oh, a lot of people added me in the group this afternoon. I thought they were all asking me for supplies, so I rejected them all without looking carefully. Scan my QR code." Bai Li said, pulling out her QR code and feeling a bit guilty for no reason. Yan Cijin scanned it with her WeChat, and the two added each other as friends again. The simple action made the room feel a little different. It was just a phone contact, but somehow it still felt like a door opening.

Yan Cijin looked at Bai Li again and took a breath before asking the reason she had come over in the first place. "Um, my mom asked if you wanted to come over for dinner. You have an injury on your hand, so it is not convenient for you to cook." She was careful with her words, but there was still a soft sincerity in her voice. Bai Li looked at her for a second and answered honestly. "No, thank you. I just ate a self heating meal, thank you." Yan Cijin did not seem discouraged. If anything, she seemed to take that as a cue to keep trying in a gentler way. "It is not good for you to always eat that, and you still have an injury on your hand. Why don’t you come over for dinner tomorrow? Anyway, we have to cook at home, so it will not be a hassle to cook for just one more person." Bai Li stood there listening, a little quiet. "Thank you, but thank you, thank you. I can cook for myself. Is there anything else?" Bai Li asked. Yan Cijin looked up at Bai Li, surprised to be rejected again. There was no anger in her face, only a kind of puzzled softness, like she could not quite understand why Bai Li was being so careful and distant. "Then I’ll come over tomorrow morning to help you change your dressing, is that alright?" Bai Li gave another polite answer. "Okay, thank you." Yan Cijin was still gentle, still calm, still not making any trouble. "No trouble at all, I’ll go back now, see you tomorrow." "See you tomorrow." After Yan Cijin left, Bai Li closed her own security door.

She stood there for a moment afterward, looking at the closed door, and only then did the slight tension in her shoulders loosen. She did not like getting too involved with others, and if it were not for the serious injuries on her hands, Bai Li would not have wanted to trouble Yan Cijin. And even though she knew in her heart that she wanted to get close to this woman, she still resisted that feeling very much. Maybe it was the side effect of being alone and self dependent for so long, but she seemed to resist the idea of getting close to someone and possibly depending on them. Bai Li had lived too long by making decisions on her own. Trust did not come easy. Wanting something from another person did not come easy either. So even after Yan Cijin had been so gentle, so straightforward, and so clearly sincere, Bai Li still felt the instinct to keep a small distance. She knew that if she let herself move too fast, she might start relying on that warmth, and once that happened it would become harder to keep her guard up. So she stayed where she was, quiet and careful, while the thoughts in her head moved around each other in slow circles.

Yan Cijin turned around and looked at Bai Li’s closed security door, then sighed. Bai Li was being too polite to her, and not as warm as before, which made her feel strange.

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TO BE CONTINUED,