As much as I tried to keep busy and deny myself the fact, lockdown was horrifically boring. I had never even cared to go out more than the occasional outing, but not having the option made everything feel limited, close, and dull. It was enough to make me antsy.

I was thankful to have Roman as a distraction some of the times. Could there be anything better than laying in bed with your lover, having sex, watching a movie, or listening to music? It was nice to have him working from home so much, too, because it meant the time he would have usually spent commuting, we could spend together.

However, the man was busy. He had an empire to run. During the times he had to work with no distractions, I would leave him be and do anything and everything to keep my mind busy.

Anything was better than sitting about, thinking about how someone wanted to put a bullet in my head. I thought about it enough, against my will. It was a rather intrusive thought.

Nothing was worse than the dreams, though. I never pegged myself as a creative individual, but my dreams were proving me wrong. Every night, it felt, they surprised me with new and innovative ways for the hit men to kill Roman and me. Sometimes they were so realistic that I would jerk awake cry, sweating, or panting. Other times, they were ridiculous and true works of fiction that I would be aware of it even in my dream. And yet, the fear would paralyze me. In those, I couldn’t wake myself up, no matter how hard a tried. I was a prisoner to my own brain. There was no fighting it, and there was no acceptance. Only grimness.

With Lori hunkering down at the mansion as well, Lauren had been around a great deal so they could work on their interior design business. It had been a nice distraction for even me, being able to sit with them and watch as they worked. Their work wasn’t something I totally understood, but I could follow easier than I did Roman’s.

That particular day, they were sat in the family room with swatches, paint samples, laptops, and notepads splayed out in front of them. I sat on the floor by the coffee table leafing through one of the collections of swatches that they weren’t using.

"What do you think of this, with this, paired with this?" Lauren asked Lori, holding up pictures, fabric, and paint.

"Makes me think you’re color blind," Kristen chimed in from across the room. I glanced over to see her laying in an armchair sideways with a magazine in hand.

Lauren laughed it off, "You aren’t even looking."

"I don’t have to look to know that. You two have been picking out the gaudiest and most ridiculous sets all week," Kristen mused.

"Hey, be nice," Lori frowned. "You don’t even know that because you haven’t been paying attention at any point in time."

"I have heard the two of you plenty, though. I don’t have to rely on one base sense two know you two are tasteless," Kristen snapped, sitting up in the chair.

"What’s gotten into you?" I asked her, a bit concerned. She didn’t have any need or right to be so nasty to them.

"Mind your business," Kristen snapped. "Don’t you know that this is all your fault to begin with? If there weren’t contracts on yours and Roman’s heads, we wouldn’t be trapped in here all together."

"It’s a mansion, Kristen. You don’t have to be in here," Lauren snapped.

Kristen was on her feet then and hands placed on her hips. "Neither of you have to be here at all. Lauren, you’re only here because of Lori, and Lori is only here to dote over her sister. Who is too busy sucking dick."

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "I don’t know what is going on with you, but there isn’t any need to be disrespectful."

"All I am trying to say is that all of you could be off doing something else, but you all load up into the room that I am already in and drone on and on all day about things literally no one cares about, that aren’t going to go anywhere, and could basically be summarized as a housewife’s hobby. Last I checked, though, neither of you fit that criteria."

"You’re being a b*itch," Lauren barked.

"You’re being delusional," Kristen bit. "I would rather be that than give so much of my time on a dream that is never going to go anywhere."

With that, Kristen stormed out of the room. The three of us remaining all looked at one another.

"What the hell was that all about?" Lauren muttered, sitting back down.

"She’s been a bit short and in an ill mood all week," I sighed. The girls looked at me in need for more information. I shrugged. "She got mad about her eggs being a little cold, about there not being any oranges in the house. I overheard her losing it on one of the guards just for bumping into her."

"Well, I don’t know what the problem is, but she can come off it," Lauren huffed, crossing her legs.

"Why do you think she’s like this?" Lori asked, her eyes rounding with concern as she peered over at me.

"I don’t know, but I’m guessing cabin fever has something to do with it," I suggested.

I hated to admit it, but I hadn’t thought about how hard the isolation would be on her. Kristen was used to coming and going as she pleased, even after bodyguards joined the house. However, the FBI agents had warned us that, while the contracts were just on Roman and me, Kristen was too close to them and would be a likely target to get to them and harm the investigation. While she still of course had the freedom to come and go as she pleased, Kristen had been trying her best to listen to the advice of security.

So, she was locked in the house, with not much to do and not many people to talk to.

My emotions were torn. While I felt for her and wanted to just leave it alone, it really wasn’t right for her to take it on those who were just trying to be there for her. And, not to mention, people who were going through the same things.

"I think I’m going to try and go talk to her," Lori announced, standing up.

"Are you sure?" I asked, wringing my hands together. "You may want to give her time to cool down. I know the problem is how isolated she is feeling, but crowding her isn’t the answer, either."

"That’s why I’ll go by myself," Lori shrugged. "If she feels crowded by all of us, then talking to one of us is bound to be better, right?"

With that, Lori left the room on her mission. I didn’t have the best feeling about it but figured the worst it was likely to go was Kristen giving Lori the cold shoulder. I moved into a chair and waited for her to return so we could go about our day.

Several minutes later, there was the sound of running and yelling.

Lauren and I looked at each other before hurrying after the sound. We hurried up the stairs and found Lori and Kristen yelling at one another in the hall, a security guard holding Kristen by the arm.

"What kind of friend are you?!" Kristen spat at her, having a total meltdown.

"You were trying to sneak out, Kristen! Do you not recall what could have happened if you got out there?!" Lori replied frantically. 𝐟𝐫𝕖𝗲𝘄𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝕧𝐞𝚕.𝕔𝕠𝐦

She looked over at me and pointed at Kristen. "I found her trying to lift herself into the vent in her room, Hannah. She was going to go outside and risk all your lives."

"It’s none of your business!" Kristen snapped. Lori turned to say something else, but before she could, Kristen continued, "You’re just a pathetic little girl following your sister around and sucking up to her because you have nothing better going on with your life. How about you run off and get a life before you try and talk about mine."

I watched as my sister’s face fell. Lori turned away from Kristen before the tears pooling in her eyes dared to slip down her cheeks.

My heart broke in that moment.

Lori hurried off down the hall and I turned to glare at Kristen.

"That was totally uncalled for. She was just trying to look out for you," I said to Kristen.

Before anything else could be said, I moved to follow after my sister. While I was growing more and more worried about Kristen’s behavior, my sister was always going to be my concern. Especially after someone had been so cruel to her.

I was so ready for life to feel normal. I didn’t even remember what normal was like.