Thea

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- Really, why are you so slow today?

Jenine showed up in my room in the morning, not letting me sleep through this "magnificent" day properly. And I just wanted to imagine that today was just another bad dream. With a sniff of displeasure, I still got out of the cozy bed.

- By the way, what do you think to do if Giselle finds out that you have a separate royal room? I don’t think she’ll be happy to leave it as it is. 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝙚𝙬𝓮𝙗𝒏𝙤𝒗𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝒐𝓶

- I try not to think about it, so my head is spinning. It’s funny, but I just wanted to escape from the problems in my life, and in the end I found new problems and new enemies. This is my karma apparently. - I smiled sadly.

With the help of a friend, I quickly got dressed, put my hair in order and looked out the window for a while, not wishing to leave the room. Not because I was overcome by laziness, but because today, before it had even begun, had already mentally squeezed me out. I was at the limit not to break down, to keep my emotions under control. At least for the sake of Jenine, who was so worried about me.

- Well, let’s start this day as soon as possible, so that it ends as soon as possible. – clapping my hands, I gathered my will into a fist and took my friend by the hand, pulling her out of the room after me.

I have not seen such an abundance of festive decorations at any wedding or at any event that I have attended before. It was too luxurious. Despite the fact that the wedding ceremony will take place closer to lunch, all the preparations were already completed and the servants were able to breathe easy. Mrs. Rose and the butler Charles were especially nervous today, but there was nothing to blame them for, because if something goes wrong, they will be the first to fall off their heads from their shoulders.

- Have you checked the wedding hall? The floor should be perfectly shiny. - Mrs. Rose sternly admonished one of the maids. – And what are you standing for? Go check if the flowers have started to fade, if anything, add water or replace with new flowers. My God, how much trouble is with you, sit here, relax.

As if I could feel her gaze on me with the back of my head, I turned around and expected a new batch of lamentations from the housekeeper, but instead I met her thoughtful gaze, and then she beckoned me to her with her finger.

- You two, go to the utility room, get bottles of wine and spare plates for fruit.

Jen and I obediently went to do the assigned task.

- She’s been too kind lately. Even too much. Is she getting old? – the friend grinned.

- It seems to me that the first impression about her is simply false. She is quite strict and sometimes rude, sometimes she allows herself too much, in her heart she cares about all of us.

- Pfft, girlfriend, did you drink too much while no one saw? Take care of us? If only she cares about her reputation in front of the powerful of this world.

- Maybe she doesn’t want to get attached to someone in particular and get favorites? - I spread my hands.

- Remember how she slapped you in the face? It doesn’t seem like caring. - Jen’s lips curled.

How could I forget? I thought my jaw was going to break. But I wasn’t submissive to her either, so we were both on a roll at that moment. But everything changed later, when I happened to get to know her a little better and now I think that she is like a foster mother for all of us. Strict, but fair.

Passing by flowers in vases on a high leg, I couldn’t help but be surprised that despite the weather, they were surprisingly fresh. And to see flowers in autumn was extraordinary in itself. The gardener obviously could not do without magic.

The utility room turned out to be just a storehouse of the most delicious riches. My eyes were running away, my hands itched, my mouth watered to grab something and eat. And I wasn’t the only one full of such thoughts. As a result, Jen and I committed a crime and ate a whole basket of tangerines for two without any signs of shame.

Well, when a person is full, he will be in a good mood. So this sin can be written down for future good deeds.

Taking two bottles of raspberry and grape wine, as well as several plates for fruit, we went to the dining room. I never stopped admiring the decoration, forgetting about everything in the world, I imagined that all this was for me. I walked through the corridors, imagining a beautiful snow-white dress, instead of a maid’s dress, I felt the freshness of cool air with my lungs, and my hair fluttered in the wind like weightless feathers. I imagined myself entering the dining room, and there, at a long table covered with all kinds of dishes, Rafael was waiting for me, dressed in a festive black tuxedo that suits him so well. And he did not sit, but walked towards me, catching me in his arms, stroking my hair, hiding stray strands behind my ears and gently caressing my embarrassed cheeks with his fingertips.

- Hey, why are you frozen? The plates won’t arrange themselves. - Jen grumbled. – Listen, if it’s hard for you, leave it to me and go rest.

- It’s okay, don’t worry, I was just dreaming about something. - I replied and put another plate in the center of the table, loading fruit into it.

- Oh, damn, I didn’t even notice that I took a cracked plate. – my friend said with annoyance, showing a chip and a crack. - I’ll run quickly for a new one and come back.

I finished the serving with automatically practiced movements, poured the wine into the jugs and again plunged into my thoughts. The painfully familiar sound of a trumpeter sounded outside the window, announcing the beginning of the ceremony. Involuntarily, my body moved to the window by itself, watching the guests enter the wedding hall, one by one. Not many, but for a private wedding it was excusable. After a while, a carriage drove up, from which the king, accompanied by his retinue, came out with a firm step, without hesitation.

The view from the window was the most successful, but at the same time, if there were no windows in the hall, it would be calmer and easier for me to bear the stinging pain in my chest that was eating away at me with every step Raphael took towards the wedding hall.

Can I change something?

A heavy, ragged breath and a sharp pain in my heart, which made me bend in half, catching my breath.

Raphael stopped at the very entrance, making no attempt to enter inside.

What was that? Hesitation?

Is he thinking about me now? Even fleetingly?

Does he know he’s hurting me?

Does he know that he is destroying me, even if he asks me to blindly believe him?

I was standing in the same place, leaning my forehead against the cold glass, holding my hands on my chest, trying to calm the burning pain and hoping so much that he would feel me, that he would look at the top. I was hoping he’d see me.

- Please. I whispered faintly, closing my eyes.

He didn’t move, and I prayed. I prayed that he would look.

A slight turn of the head. I caught this barely noticeable movement. Froze. But it wasn’t for me. He said something to the Duke of Parmont and entered the wedding hall without hesitation.

The cold glass could not fully cope with the heat of my skin, but it brought a little relief, along with the tears flowing down without stopping. I don’t know what I was hoping for. It’s so stupid to look at a person and think that he will look back. He can’t know I’m here, he can’t know I can see him. So ridiculous, but so painful. I imagined how the thin ice that had held us before was cracking. I heard this crackling in my ears.

About ten minutes later, the carriage with the adamanian princess arrived. Her dress, despite the refined restraint, sat on her very elegantly and even though I disliked her, I could not deny that she looked great. She moved gracefully inside, holding a bouquet of yellow calla lilies in her hands.

- Milady will you join me?

I turned around at the sudden male voice behind me and was happy that by this moment the tears on my cheeks had dried.

- Shouldn’t you be at the celebration, Your Grace?

The Duke of Parmont, dressed in all the canons of a royal wedding, gave me a fleeting kind smile and extended his hand.

- Well, it’s not my wedding, so it’s unlikely that anyone will be saddened by the fact that I’m skipping. - he smiled.

- Isn’t that disrespectful to His Majesty? - I asked again.

- And you? Don’t you respect him either? - The duke asked, not lowering his outstretched hand.

- What does this have to do with me?

- But you didn’t go to welcome this marriage either. - I frowned, not understanding what he wanted to hear from me.

- You don’t mean that I have to go there now, rejecting all warnings from His Majesty, do you? - Arching an eyebrow, I asked him a question we both knew the answer to.

- That’s right, that wouldn’t be the best idea. But you, Princess, are smart enough not to do that. Therefore, in order to distract you somehow, I offer you my company. Don’t refuse me.

Were there any other options?

I took a couple of steps forward, leaving the Duke behind and completely ignoring his outstretched hand. Someone might have considered it an insult, but the duke just grinned and hid his hands behind his back.

- You are very perceptive for your young age. But I can assure you that by taking my hand, you would not harm my reputation in any way. However, I dare not impose. – he bowed, which surprised me very much.

- I need to wait for my friend, she will be back soon.

- There’s no need, I met her on the way. So now most likely she, like the rest of the servants, is watching the ceremony.

- And I... can I see?