Vivian’s POV

Ryan Terrell was a cruel man.

During their time together, Vivian had never thought of him like that. But now she was realizing that the word described him to a tee. Not only that, there were other uncharitable words that she realized she could use to describe him.

Vicious, unkind, callous, and heartless also fit the bill.

Ever since finding out that there was another woman( a woman that Vivian could not even dream of competing against and winning). Vivian had been a complete wreck. But she had been a wreck that had been doing its best to cling to Ryan.

Fully convinced that even if she was not his main priority. So long as, he kept being nice to her, kept treating her well, she could endure it. But now, here he was, dangling something that she had wanted so badly right in front of her.

He wanted them to toss aside the friends with benefits arrangement. To be an actual couple and start dating for real.

It was everything that Vivian could have ever hoped for and then some.

But it also meant absolutely nothing to Ryan. His words were hollow. He did not mean them. He was just trying to toy with her even more.

Had Vivian not known about Gwendolyn, she would have fallen for it. But now, staring at his hopeful face, it dawned on Vivian that she could not live like this. There was no way that she would be able to survive while staying next to a man who fed her scraps of affection every now and then.

Someone who saw nothing wrong with playing with her to the extent of asking her to commit to him, for them to be something serious, while he knew there was another lady that he preferred more than Vivian.

So as much as it hurt to do, Vivian moved further away from Ryan, scooting back until she was in danger of falling off the bed. Then with a shaky exhale, she looked at him right in the eyes and said a word that felt like lava in her mouth and throat with how horrible it felt coming out.

"No," She told him, proud when her voice did not waver. Holding strong and not letting him know that she was about to cry.

The happy, hopeful look on Ryan’s face instantly vanished.

It was not replaced by anger or annoyance, but actual shock. The disbelief, quickly giving away to devastation, like his heart was actually tearing in two. Oh, but he was good.

Just seeing the hurt on his face made Vivian want to take back her decision. To tell him that she would be his girlfriend.

But just the thought of him calling her that and then going home to Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth, who in a short period of time would be his wife, made Vivian stand her ground.

"I cannot do this anymore Ryan,"

"Vivian," Whatever he had to say, she did not care anymore, bending she grabbed her dress from the floor, shrugged it on and quickly made her way out of the bedroom, grabbing her shoes as she went, not pausing even as she heard him calling her name. The man too stunned to chase after her.

***

Vivian had done it. She had finally chosen herself. It should have felt amazing. It was a victory after all, one that she had never thought she would get. But instead of feeling relieved that she had finally found the strength to choose herself, Vivian felt crushed.

Being in her own apartment did not help at all.

Thanks to Ryan’s gift-giving spree, she was now surrounded by things that he had gotten her and just the sight of them made her heart hurt even more.

She felt like she was suffocating under the weight of all of the presents. Torn between burning them and making an altar out of them. Vivian decided that the best thing she could do was try to put space between herself and all things that reminded her of Ryan Terrell.

***

It was the middle of the night. Amy was probably already fast asleep, but Vivian found herself dialing her best friend’s number with shaky fingers.

The phone rang for so long that she was worried the call would go unanswered, but just as she was about to give up, Amy finally picked up.

"Hello?" She answered, her voice rough with sleep. Her guilt amplifying Vivian entertained the thought of just hanging up. But in the end, the need to be somewhere safe won, and in Vivian’s mind, there was currently no place safer than wherever Amy was.

"Can I come over?" She asked, unable to stop the pained sob that came out at the end of her sentence.

"Vivian, of course you can come over. You do not sound too good. What is wrong?" She opened her mouth to tell Amy that it was over. That the twisted thing that had been going on between her and Ryan Terrell had finally reached its expiration date.

But when she tried to speak, the words would not leave her mouth, so she settled for saying something else.

"Are you sure it will not be a bother for me to come over right now?" Once again there was another sob, and this one was accompanied by tears falling, Angrily wiping them away, Vivian listened to her friend’s reply.

"Of course you can come Vivian, I will be right here waiting for you," Amy sounded so very panicked and Vivian wished there was something she could do or say to make her friend worry less. Unable to find anything though, she simply hung up.

Getting to her feet, Vivian left the apartment that she had just returned to. Her whole body feeling as though it would break apart at the seams if she so much as breathed wrong. The only thing keeping her together, being the knowledge that Amy was waiting for he