Chapter 33

Koah Harbor

POV

"...and then Stella insisted fairies ate spaghetti only and nothing else. She wouldn’t even let us put sauce or anything on it..." Carly laughed softly. "I tried telling her fairies only ate veggies and plants, but apparently they came out every Tuesday, and eat her leftovers..."

I smiled, or at least I’d hoped that was what my mouth was doing. I was barely listening to Carly. I was stuck in my own head.

I needed her chatter to help me get out of my own mind, plus I didn’t want her to know I was barely listening. We were sitting at Chase’s kitchen island with Stella as she grew a family picture.

Being here made me feel safe and having Carly and Stella around me helped feel like I wasn’t alone.

Honestly, I didn’t even realize I was at Chase’s house until Stella jumped into my arms.

I remembered checking my emails on my new email address I created to keep in touch with my lawyer. Mathew Evans was one of the lawyers at the firm that represented my parents. His father owned the law firm and has been working closely with my father and after my parents died, he decided to retire and now Mathew represented me.

I didn’t know until last week.

The email, detailed Austin’s desperation to find me.

I didn’t know what I was expecting. I knew he’d be angry when I left. I knew he wouldn’t just give up. But I didn’t expect him to try to involve the police the way he did.

"...Koah?" Carly’s voice brings me out of my thoughts.

I blink at her. "I’m sorry. I was just thinking about whether I should contact my friends or not..." I lie. I wasn’t thinking about Lily or Hannah.

"You said their names were Hannah and Lily, right?" she asks.

I nod.

Carly gets up and gets two mugs and just starts making tea.

She places on in front of me and the other she starts drinking herself.

I looked down at the mug holding it with both my hands.

"You know I remembered something about my past today..." Carly says and I look at her gratefully.

She starts telling me about the memory. How she saved Chase’s life.

I look at Stella. Thinking if she wasn’t there in that exact moment Stella wouldn’t here. I wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t have a friend like Carly reminding how much I have to be grateful for. She has no memories of her childhood, while I have memories of my parents and their love for me. Carly didn’t have any of those memories. She was basically a shadow of herself.

But she didn’t let that stop her from being an amazing mom to Stella.

While I was hiding... My fingers trembled slightly at the thought of Austin finding, what would he do if he found me? Would he kill me?

What if the police eventually forced my lawyer’s hand? And I’d have to go back to New York?

What if the police told Austin where I was. What if they made me go home with him?

The thought made my stomach churn.

No. No. No.

I nearly flinched at the thought.

I know what I look like to most people if I ever share my story with them, I’m the girl who stayed with an abusive man until it was nearly too late. I remember the girl I used to be. I was the kind of girl who never backed from a challenge, I’d fight girls who hurt my friends. I remember Enzo having to hurl me over his shoulder because I tried to fight a girl who Carter had cheated on Hannah with. The girl tried to steal Carter away from Hannah and I wasn’t going to let the bitch do that to my friend.

Enzo had always hurled me over his shoulder when I got into trouble. We’d leave the class and fool around the entire class we went missing. No one said anything because I was Brandon Harbors daughter. Plus, Hannah and Carter’s parents were both on the school board. We got away with a lot more than we should have been allowed to get into.

There was a time I would have died for Lily or Hannah. Now I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to them. Hannah would fly to Chicago to see me then rush to New York to kill Austin. Then there was Lily sweet innocent Lily our God-fearing friend who couldn’t hurt a damn fly even if it bit her. She would rush over and pray for me. She was a kindergarten teacher, married to the perfect husband Grayson and has the perfect baby son Graham. She’d try to drag me to a church service try to convince me church would take away all my problems. She’d try to get me to talk to the police tell them about the abuse.

I was scared not even my friends would believe Austin was the type of man to hurt a woman. Austin always acted like the caring and loving supportive boyfriend. He would tell people he was fine with not having children so I could dance. He was living off my salary and didn’t want to have kids because I’d have to quit my job.

I wasn’t just scared they wouldn’t believe me, I was too ashamed to tell them while they were thriving, I was drowning in self-pity, bruises and a lingering fear for my life. I was feeling sorry for myself because now that most of my facial wounds have healed and I didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror. She looked nothing like she did when I was 18. She looked defeated, ashamed, lonely and depressed. She didn’t care about the latest fashion trends no she was worried her ex would come and kill her.

I was feeling down and out about myself since I read the email from my lawyer this morning.

Austin hasn’t given up he visits the police station twice a day to try and file a missing person’s report on me. It scared the living daylights out of me just thinking about him finding me.

I was tired, tired of running... Tired of having to constantly look over my shoulder.

I just wanted my life back, that’s all I wanted, all I needed was to get my old life back. I was ashamed to wear tight fitting clothes or revealing clothing.

I spoke like Carly was living in the shadow of her former self. While I was doing the exact same thing. I didn’t recognize the woman I’ve become.

"...Koah?" Carly calls out to me bringing me out of my thoughts.

I flinch looking at her. "I’m sorry. I got an email from my lawyer this morning. Austin has been to the police station all week trying to file a missing person’s report on me. I’m worry he’ll find me..." I tell her honestly.

"Don’t worry Koah. I have someone watching Austin. He won’t come anywhere near you..." Chase says from behind me.

I turn to him; I look at him grateful.

"It seems Austin has racked up quite a bit of debt, and he is frantic to pay it back..." Chase tells me.

My eyes widen. "How much money exactly?" I ask.

Chase eyes shift. "Honestly, it’s up to five million. But I’m not sure what the interest is. I know the Bianco family. If he can’t pay. He won’t be in any condition to bother you..." Chase says taking the seat beside Stella.

He gives her kiss on her head. She smiles at him brightly before she goes back to her drawing.

I didn’t notice it before. But she had headphones on. Probably so she couldn’t hear what we were saying.

Chase and Carly were really the best parents. I don’t I’d ever think about making sure my child couldn’t hear an adult conversation.

I forced a smile. Remembering just how much Austin owes. "Why would anyone give that much money?" I ask.

Chase looks away from me and looks at Carly. "He promised them a big pay out. He must have showed your parents insurance pay out or promised something. I’m going to meet with Bianco next week and find out exactly what’s going on..." Chase says.

Before I could say anything, Stella suddenly looked up from her drawing.

"Miss Koah?" she calls out to me taking off her headphones.

I smiled. "Yeah?"

"I made you a dragon." she says handing me the drawing. I assumed the green blob was the dragon. It has pink arms on its back. I assume that was its wings. "It looks just like you." she smiled brightly.

I didn’t know if it was a compliment or an insult. But I smiled anyway. "Thank you, Stella. It’s veery pretty. I’ll treasure it..." I wasn’t lying. I was going to treasure the drawing.

Stella probably thought I needed one. Honestly, I did need a dragon. Maybe it could burn Austin to a crisp.

A lump formed in my throat. The more I thought about it. The more I thought about how Stella must have realized I felt scared. The more I wanted to break down.

I wished life really worked that way. That a big bad Dragon could solve all my problems.

Help with my anxiety of him finding me. The fear that’s been ingrained into my bones. I feared Austin finding me so much every little noise still hand me jumping and I’ve been here for weeks. For years I’ve heard I wasn’t good enough, I’d never be loved by anyone but him. He was doing me a favour.

I knew I needed therapy but I wasn’t ready to speak to a complete stranger yet.

Carly wrapped her arms around me. I leaned into her. Grateful for the comfort.