This Novel is not my Novel
Chapter 126: Afterparty (7)
"How am I supposed to believe that?"
"Y-Yes...?"
The moment I gave him the attention he seemed to want so badly, Ríolíkin looked completely bewildered.
Did he actually think I would be touched by that declaration?
"U-Uh... well... you look embarrassed..."
"Haven't you always regarded me as nothing more than a convenient shield? Haven't you simply been flattering me to stay close enough to use me?"
"W-Why are you s-suddenly saying things like that...? I-I met the condition...! F-From now on, I'm allowed to follow Lord Karvaldr, aren't I?"
Considering the purpose of today's gathering, the question seemed to wound him deeply.
His voice trembled.
Tears gathered in his eyes.
His face was twisted to the point where it looked as though he would burst into loud sobs if I pushed him just a little further.
Even so, I maintained an indifferent expression and continued.
"That is precisely why I want to clarify things. Since we will continue to remain together."
I met his eyes.
"Do you see me as a tool, or as a person? I have the right to know, don't I?"
"I-It's only natural that I see you as a p-person...!"
Now, perhaps.
That was what I thought.
The words that came out of my mouth, however, conveyed something entirely different.
"How is that natural? You spent all of last semester following me around because you intended to use me."
"Th-That's all in the p-past...! I-It happened a long time ago, didn't it?"
"Hah..."
I let out a short laugh.
"So? Your thinking has changed now?"
"Y-Yes...! I-I've changed!"
"And how exactly am I supposed to know that?"
Sometimes actions communicated intent far more clearly than words.
To make him understand that tears alone would not solve this, I deliberately projected distrust through my posture and expression.
I leaned back in my chair.
Crossed my arms.
Crossed my legs.
A thoroughly defensive posture.
Then I stared at him with a completely expressionless face.
Beside me, Yor copied my pose and crossed her tiny arms as well, glaring at Ríolíkin.
The readers are probably wondering why I'm suddenly doing this...
I'm not trying to torment him.
Now that there is no legitimate way to get rid of him, I certainly wasn't dropping hints in hopes that he would leave of his own accord.
It's time to collect an apology.
That was all.
The person Ríolíkin had wronged was Karvaldr, not me.
Personally, I didn't care whether I received an apology or not.
The problem was that, despite not knowing that fact, he still had never apologized.
I imagined there were quite a few readers who still viewed Ríolíkin negatively because of it.
"W-What do you mean...? H-How would you know...?"
"I mean exactly what I said. Have you ever given me any direct proof that you've reflected on your actions?"
Ríolíkin's tear-filled eyes shook with anxiety.
He still looked utterly lost.
On the other hand—
"Oh."
Reisir let out a quiet sound and looked at me approvingly.
He was undoubtedly proud of me.
The realization hit me with a wave of embarrassment so strong that I nearly lost control of my expression.
"I-I've really been reflecting..."
"If that's true, then there should be something you absolutely need to say to me."
"W-What am I supposed to say...?"
"It's basic common sense. Stop trying to get the answer from me and think for yourself. You're not particularly unintelligent, so why do you refuse to use your head?"
He was still a growing adolescent.
Even so, I had no desire to spoon-feed something this simple to a man well over one hundred ninety centimeters tall.
If you've wronged someone, you apologize.
Even children know that.
If he couldn't figure that out on his own, there was a problem.
Ríolíkin struggled for a long time with that absurdly simple answer.
Even after reaching a conclusion, he still looked uncertain.
As though afraid he might be wrong, he cautiously asked for confirmation.
"P-Perhaps... are you expecting an a-apology from me?"
"Did you think I wouldn't?"
"U-Uhm... w-well... you told me to apologize to Reisir. B-But you never said anything about apologizing to Lord Karvaldr..."
"So you concluded that meant you didn't need to apologize to me?"
"Y-Yes..."
Ríolíkin answered in a tiny voice while carefully watching my reaction.
I honestly couldn't tell whether this kid lacked basic manners, or whether he simply had a habit of interpreting everything in whatever way benefited him most.
Perhaps it was both.
For a moment, I simply sat there, speechless.
Then an unexpected voice joined the conversation.
"Can I ask something? Listening to this gave me a question."
The one who spoke was Helga.
She wore an openly irritated expression.
I had assumed Reisir would be the first to intervene.
Yet when I glanced at him, he appeared so dumbfounded that he had completely lost the ability to speak.
Perhaps that was why Helga stepped in first.
"You apologized to Ray because the Tsundere Young Master told you to?"
She frowned.
"You weren't sorry at all?"
"H-He did tell me to... b-but... I still knew I'd done something wrong... a-and even before that, I felt sorry..."
"Then did you feel sorry toward the Tsundere Young Master too?"
"O-Of course..."
"And despite that, you followed him around intending to use him without ever apologizing?"
Helga's lips curled into a sneer.
"You're lying, aren't you?"
The moment I saw that expression, something occurred to me.
Helga hadn't participated in the tournament preparation training with us.
Which meant she hadn't witnessed Ríolíkin's turning point.
Nor had she spent enough time with him to become attached to him.
I was right after all.
People don't become friends just because they share a meal together.
At that moment, my assertion from Chapter 124—
You aren't friends without narrative.
—was proven correct.
"W-Well... in the p-past... I kind of was like that... B-But now I genuinely feel sorry..."
Ríolíkin lowered his head deeply and corrected himself.
It seemed he had felt guilty about tormenting Reisir under Karvaldr's orders.
But he hadn't particularly regretted following Karvaldr around with ulterior motives.
Had he convinced himself he was better than Tryggdrik, who openly leeched off powerful people?
Or perhaps he had justified it by telling himself that Karvaldr was a bad person anyway.
...Or maybe not.
Did the possibility that Karvaldr could actually be hurt ever occur to him in the first place?
Everyone bowed and scraped before Karvaldr.
Ríolíkin himself had struggled to stay in Karvaldr's good graces.
From his perspective, he had probably envied someone who seemed to receive endless admiration.
While completely ignoring the fact that none of it was sincere.
That everyone around Karvaldr merely wanted to use him.
Then, after hearing me talk in Chapter 57 about being tired of being used, perhaps he had finally been forced to confront the truth he had been avoiding.
Reisir's attitude probably played a role as well.
Rather than merely saying—
"I don't want to use you. I just want to be your friend."
—Reisir had consistently acted that way.
He had openly worried about hurting me.
Openly worried that I might misunderstand his intentions.
His claim that he feels sorry now is probably genuine.
After arriving at that conclusion, I slowly exhaled.
The motion resembled a sigh.
Everyone's attention immediately shifted toward me.
The attention wasn't intentional.
Still, I had already decided it was time to take control of the conversation.
So I spoke.
"Ríolíkin."
"Y-Yes...?"
"Why do you think I never demanded an apology from you until now?"
"Th-That's... because I d-didn't seem truly repentant...?"
"That is one reason."
I nodded.
"Some people might prefer receiving a verbal apology over receiving nothing at all. As for me..."
My voice turned cold.
"I am so sick of empty words that hearing them makes me nauseous."
The real Karvaldr would almost certainly have felt that way.
And honestly—
So do I.
Not because I find them tiresome.
But because I know how meaningless they can be.
"So if you don't genuinely feel sorry toward me, then you don't need to apologize. As I've said before, I simply want things clarified."
"Ah... I-I..."
"To be honest, your answer earlier surprised me."
I cut him off.
Deliberately.
"After supposedly reflecting on your actions, you still concluded that apologizing wasn't necessary simply because I hadn't demanded one."
Ríolíkin tried to respond.
I didn't let him.
Because I couldn't follow him around for the rest of his life, reminding him whenever he owed someone an apology.
This lesson needed to stick.
He needed to recognize his own mistake.
And he needed to face it directly.
"An apology isn't something you give only after being ordered to do so."
I spoke slowly.
"Nor is it something you give only after someone demands it."
I held his gaze.
"If outside pressure is what forces the apology, people will naturally question whether it's sincere." 𝚏𝕣𝐞𝗲𝐰𝕖𝐛𝐧𝕠𝕧𝚎𝚕.𝐜𝚘𝗺
"Y-You're right..."
"And yet you forced me to bring up the topic first."
"I-I'm sorry..."
"Is that all you have to say?"
I tilted my head.
Ríolíkin immediately shook his head so hard it looked painful.
Then he finally blurted out the words I'd been preventing him from saying.
"I-I'm truly reflecting on what I did...! I-I sincerely wanted to apologize to Lord Karvaldr...! I'm sorry for following you around to use you... a-and I'm sorry it took me this long to apologize...! I was really in the wrong...!"
"Is regret the only thing you feel toward me?"
"N-No...!"
He shook his head again.
"I-I'm grateful too...! E-Even though I wronged you, you still gave me a chance...! Y-You gave me the courage to try...! Y-You believed I could do it and waited for me...! Th-Thank you very much...!"
Ríolíkin bowed so deeply that his nose nearly collided with the plate in front of him.
If he'd been ten centimeters shorter while sitting, it probably would have.
By the way...
Did I finally complete the assignment Reisir gave me?
At last, I was no longer being treated like someone incapable of receiving an apology or even a simple thank-you.
As I felt a vague sense of relief—
"A-Also... I respect you...! T-The things you say and do have a kind of dignity to them..."
"...?"
Why was he still talking?
"W-When Lord Karvaldr acknowledges me, it makes me happy...! A-And when you're kind to me, I feel at ease...! A-And, um..."
"Th-That's enough..."
"Ah! A-And when you blush and get embarrassed like you are right no—"
"Who told you to list every emotion you have toward me?! An apology followed by gratitude was enough! And after I told you to stop, why are you still talking?!"
I fired off the entire sentence in one breath before he could continue.
Only after I glared at him with genuine irritation did he finally swallow the rest of his words.
Then he answered.
"I-I thought... just like apologies shouldn't require being asked for... compliments should be the same..."
"Even so, when I tell you to stop, you stop."
"Y-Yes...! I'll remember that from now on...!"
Did Ríolíkin genuinely misunderstand and think he was helping?
Or was this his way of hinting that he wanted praise in the future without having to ask for it?
Then again...
What are the odds he simply saw Reisir teasing me all the time and decided it looked fun enough to try once himself?