Transmigrated as the villainess: I claimed five beast husbands!
Chapter 70 - 0: Crappy Songs and Booze
"Is this meat? Like hold on..." Anna lifted her plate and showed it to Kai. "Like this is actual, swear to God meat?!"
"Yes,"
"How?! Oh my goodness how?! We have this and we eat those boring ass nutrient pulls?"
"Careful now, cutie. There’s a reason this place is hidden so well."
"Because it’s illegal." Tristan snapped. He looked around the restaurant with a disdainful look. "I should arrest everyone here. All of them are criminals."
Anna looked around and all she saw were all sorts of beastpeople eating and drinking and having the time of their life. sure some of them looked buff and scary, like the crocodile beastman seated in a brooding corner. But to Anna it was the perfect image of a medieval tavern.
"I don’t see anything wrong with them."
"They are—" Tristan started to say but Kai reached over the table and slammed a chunk of meat into Tristan’s open mouth.
"You’re not arresting anyone. I just made you an accomplice."
Tristan’s horrified face made Anna giggle. She took a small bite out of the perfectly charred meat.
So bland...but wait, is that actually?
Her eyes widened. "It tastes just like meat! Sure this could use some butter or heck even some salt but—" she took yet another bite. "This is soooo good! Why doesn’t everyone eat this?"
"For a couple of reasons," Kai jumped in before Tristan could say something about it being illegal. "The main one being the North doesn’t like competition."
"The North?" Anna asked with a mouthful of food.
"The North processes all the AI beasts and turns them into nutrient pills," Ray spoke for the first time since they walked in. He poked at his serving, as if expecting it to jump up and kick him in the face. "It’s their economic strength. Every single nutrient pill in this world is made in the north."
"So this," Kai gestured to her half eaten plate. "Is an AI beast that hasn’t been processed into pills."
Anna spat out the meat in her mouth. "You said it’s what?!"
Kai laughed. "What did you think it was?"
Anna stared at the meat on her plate. If she didn’t know, she’d have thought it was steak.
"But if they can make it this way, why pills?"
"Because this is risky and can cause corruptions. Especially if not processed properly." Ray said.
"Even this meat right now is full of nanites. These people are putting themselves in danger." Tristan added.
Anna looked around the tavern. "Maybe they don’t care." She whispered. "Maybe for just a few minutes, the risk of a mind fraying corruption, they want to know what it’s like to chew real food."
Their table went silent. Everyone stared at her.
Anna pictured her old life, the small things she’d taken for granted. A slice of toast, oh how she would kill for a slice of simple toast. Steak. Pasta, even the vegetables she hated so much. Food that had texture. Flavour. Warmth.
"It’s no wonder people are so pale and skinny. There’s literally no food." She turned to Tristan and offered him a kind smile. "You can’t blame them, General."
Tristan cleared his throat and avoided her eyes, only because his nose started to feel hot. "I guess I was too hasty in my judgments. Forgive me."
"It’s alright." Anna turned back to her plate and cut a tiny piece. She thought about the servant girl, bowing repeatedly for just a few low grade pills. She thought about Bella, over the moon for a taste of strawberry.
Anna’s heart broke.
Why hadn’t Orchid in all her brilliance tried to bring back agriculture? Even just a little?
Then it dawned on Anna that maybe Princess Orchid had no idea what life beyond the palace looked like. Safely cushioned and hidden away in the luxurious palace, no wonder she had so much time for evil plots. She never knew of the real world!
Anna sighed heavily. Her high spirits dampened and she wondered if there was anything at all she could do to alleviate their suffering.
There’s no reason why a place that sells real solid food should be illegal.
Suddenly, an idea came to her mind.
"Azul is a northern chief right? What if I ask him to make meat instead of pills?"
"No." All three of them immediately relied.
Anna jerked back. "Gee. I was just giving a suggestion."
"It’s not what you think, cutie," Kai leaned forward. "To put it in simple terms, this is the kind of leader that Azul is. If you’re drowning, and the north is on fire, he will leave you and save his people. Even though he can scoop water from your grave, he won’t even glance at you."
Anna’s skin paled and goose flesh covered her body.
"Azul is a very rigid person. He follows tradition down to the last word. A suggestion like that? Don’t even mention it to him." Ray finished.
"But come on. If suggestions like these aren’t made, how are we ever going to change?"
Kai leaned back in his seat, tipping it back and forth. "Forget it, cutie."
Anna turned to Ray. He shrugged, his eyes telling her all she needed to know.
She turned to Tristan, and he was so focused on his plate of meat that he didn’t notice her eyes.
Anna sighed, slumping into her chair. Her mind reeled with the information, and in the background the lively sounds of the tavern provided a much needed buffer.
I need to do something. My people...her people are starving.
"It’s not that bad," Tristan said. Anna looked up to see him chewing. "I can taste the nanites though,"
"That’s what gives it the distinct flavour." Kai grinned. "Come on, why the long faces?! I didn’t bring you guys here to mope around like sad kittens!" He jumped to his feet, cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled out "Allie! Bring some of that stuff over here!"
The deer beastwoman from earlier emerged with a giant tray of alcohol which she slammed down on the table before spinning to Kai and smacking the back of his head. "Have some respect, shark boy."
"Is it me or did your smacks get weaker?"
She smacked him again, turned on her heel and sashayed away.
"Wow," Anna gasped. "For a moment I thought she was your mom."
Kai shook his head as he sat back down. "She’s a really good friend."
There was so much warmth and softness in his voice that Anna wanted to know everything that happened between them. But before she could ask, he took one mug and shoved it in front of her.
"Drink up, cutie."
And Anna was never one to say no to a good drink.
"You bet, sharkie."
"That is such a horrible nickname."
"And that is what I shall call you henceforth."
"Now who’s bickering like cubs?" Ray said in an exasperated voice.
Kai and Anna only laughed.
From then on, it was downhill.
Anna challenged Tristan to a drinking match which he gladly accepted.
"Drink! Drink! Drink!" Kai chanted excitedly, clapping and laughing like a maniac.
Mug after mug, Anna chugged it down. Meanwhile, as her vision started to blur, Tristan remained perfectly composed.
"Are you ready to give up?" He asked after the sixth mug.
Anna shook her head, her vision swirling and her brain sloshing around in her skull. She grabbed another mug and pulled it close. "One...more hic! One..." she pouted, grumbled something unintelligible then turned to Ray. "You! Drink!"
Ray sighed. "As you wish." He took the mug and drank its contents in seconds.
Then, Ray challenged Tristan to another drinking match.
Allie brought more and more drinks, only for them to guzzle it all up. The other diners took notice of the commotion, and some of them gathered around the table to watch.
Neither Tristan no Ray showed any signs of being drunk.
Anna, who was already seeing double and slurring over her words, kept cheering. "Come onnnn Rayyyy you can win!"
The small crowd of spectators joined Kai in chanting "Drink! Drink! Drink!"
"You should give up," Ray said to Tristan, his voice level and smooth.
"I’ve barely even started," Tristan replied.
After they’d drank twenty mugs, Allie slammed her hands down on the table and barked. "That’s it! No more drinks!"
"Oh come on baby! Give the gentlemen more drinks!" One of the spectators drawled.
"He’s right! I’ve never seen drinkers such as these two!"
The crowd turned from chants of drink to "bring more drinks!"
Allie huffed and left. Seconds later she returned with a giant barrel, behind her was another waitress dragging another barrel.
"There you go! Drink to your deaths!"
Anna laughed, having the best time of her life. "Wanna see you drink it..." she slurred to Tristan.
"This is gonna be fun." Kai snickered.
"I think we should stop now," Tristan said, the voice of the spectators drowning out his quiet tone.
But Ray heard it. "No, we’re just getting started."
Neither of them could drink the full barrel before their stomachs gave out.
The spectators, having their full, returned back to their seats.
"I’m going to be sick," Ray groaned, his cheek pressed against the surface of the table.
"You green..." Anna said with a short giggle. "Why the fuck am I giggling so much?"
"This was not a wise idea," Tristan said, also looking green in the face.
"I have the perfect idea! A song!" Kai jumped on top of the table and before anyone could agree or disagree, he began singing an off key song about a sailor and a tilapia fish.
The lyrics were so horrid that Anna soon joined in, wobbling and swaying on her feet but still climbing on top of the table. The both of them belted on top of their voices, a discordant melody that hurt the ears of everyone listening.
Seconds later, Ray joined them. Then begrudgingly, Tristan followed.
The four of them sang, about the sailors adventures with his darling tilapia fish.
The entire restaurant burst into laughter at their antics.
Allie and her squad of waitresses stormed out, promptly throwing them all out. "You’re ruining my business! Don’t come back!" She barked as she slammed the door shut.
Yet, Anna was having the best time of her life.
The four of them stumbled back to the inn, still singing the stupid song. Somehow, they all made it into one room, falling asleep tangled between each other.
Anna woke up in the middle of the night to relieve herself. She found that Tristan was gone.