Chapter 4: “Status.” — The Most Sacred Isekai Ritual

The principal eventually wandered off, leaving Max to stew in peace—or, you know, whatever passed for peace in a hospital ward full of weird stares. Apparently, his visit was strictly business: the school had covered his medical bills. Why? Because he got injured while technically under their supervision—but here’s the kicker—he wasn’t even supposed to be there. Morning attendance had him marked present, meaning he’d snuck out. If his parents wanted, they could’ve pressed charges. But nope—the school just coughed up the cash and called it a day.

Did Max care? Not really. Sure, he was a little ticked at both the school and his so-called guardians, but the real fury was aimed at the previous Max. Seriously—what kind of moron climbs a mountain without a backup plan? How the hell did he even get hurt up there? The memory of that disaster still hadn’t popped into his head.

Not that it mattered whose fault it was—revenge was coming, one way or another. But first, he needed a plan. Naturally, Max turned to the one thing he actually knew how to do: research. And by research, he meant diving headfirst into these damn runes using the technical skills he’d picked up as a coder in his last life.

Yes, coding—the ultimate ultra-weeb job. Perfect for someone who wanted to avoid human interaction at all costs and never, ever leave their home. Max may have died and reincarnated, but some habits die hard. And honestly? Figuring out magical runes with the same precision he once used to debug software sounded way more appealing than, say, climbing another mountain or interacting with his dysfunctional new family.

He had to research the runes properly—turns out, it wasn’t enough to just know what they meant. You couldn’t just wave your hand and hope for a fireball. No, you had to know how to combine them, sequence them, and actually make stuff happen.

The deeper he delved, the more patterns started clicking in his head. And then it hit him:

"So... it’s just like coding."

Suddenly, all those late nights hunched over a keyboard, debugging endless spaghetti code, felt strangely relevant. Magic, it seemed, was basically just a weirder, sparkly version of programming. And Max? Well, he had just found his second advantage in this bizarre new world.

But, of course, it wasn’t going to be that easy. No matter how deep he dug into this world’s so-called "worldwide web" or whatever knockoff name they gave it here, the information stopped at the basics. Just the kiddie pool of magic: simple runes, the elemental ones, and how to string them together to spit out a little water or spark a flame.

Max got the basics down perfectly—no sweat. Hell, he even understood how to link the runes together. With his uncanny ability to read them like some language he’d apparently always known, he could probably do more than just flick candles on or turn water into a convenient glassful on demand. But, of course, it wasn’t quite that simple. But there were still extra steps, annoying hoops he had to jump through before the real fun began.

"Man... I thought I could just go full overpowered MC right away," he sighed, disappointed, dropping his phone onto the side table.

And just in case he had somehow fumbled the most important command in existence earlier, Max tried again.

"Status..."

Nothing.

No screen. No voice. Not even a pity response.

Max stared at the ceiling for a second, then let out a tired sigh. Yeah, of course. No system, no cheats—just him and his bad luck. Fine. World domination could wait. Sleep came first.

He closed his eyes—

—and then a bright holographic screen suddenly popped up right in front of him like it had been waiting for dramatic timing.

[Welcome to Forbidden Acts System]

Max’s eyes snapped open.

"...Oh."

He shot up instantly, all traces of sleep gone. Staring at the floating screen, he slowly reached out and poked it.

His finger went straight through.

He blinked, frowned, then rubbed his eyes like maybe his brain had finally decided to give up on reality. Still there.

"...Okay, either I’ve lost it... or this is real."

Just to be sure, he pinched his own cheek.

Pain.

’Fuck... hahah... I’m actually gonna control this world...’

Max’s lips barely moved, but inside his head he was already halfway to declaring himself some kind of cosmic authority.

’Yeah... yeah... I’ll be the god of this place... whatever kind works... hahah... I’m coming for everything...’

At least, that’s what he thought he was doing—quietly, internally, like a perfectly sane individual.

Reality, however, had other plans.

Because while the words stayed in his mind... the laughter didn’t.

A low, unhinged chuckle slipped out. Then another. And another.

Soon enough, Max was sitting there, staring into absolutely nothing, quietly giggling like he’d just unlocked a premium insanity package.

The patients nearby noticed.

Of course they did.

One guy slowly lowered his newspaper, peeking over the edge like he was witnessing the start of a horror movie. A woman clutched her blanket a little tighter. Somewhere in the background, a machine beeped with the kind of dramatic timing that really didn’t help the situation.

To them, this wasn’t a person.

This was an incident waiting to happen.

Max, meanwhile?

Didn’t care. Not even a little.

Because as far as he was concerned, he had just received the one thing his entire weeb life had been building toward—a gift. A real one. Not some second-rate plot device. Not some fake hype.

This was it.

And honestly... he might’ve been a little too excited.

Like, bricked up excited.

But we’re not going to look too closely into that.

He had priorities.

Important ones.

So, with the seriousness of a man about to change fate itself, Max focused.

"Alright..." he muttered under his breath.

First step.

The most sacred ritual of every self-respecting isekai protagonist.

"Status."

But instead of the usual clean, blue "status window" he’d been expecting...

He got himself.

Specifically—his own naked body, just casually displayed like some kind of character preview screen.

"...what the hell?"

Max blinked.

Then blinked again.

Yep. Still there.

Full model. No censorship. No dignity.

He stared at it for a moment, processing things with the seriousness of a man evaluating critical life data.

"...kinda skinny," he muttered internally, tilting his head. "Not bad... not great... just... mid."

His gaze drifted lower.

"...yeah, that’s... average."

A pause.

A very thoughtful pause.

And then—like any completely rational individual—he immediately ignored everything else and tapped on that specific section.

A small interface popped up:

[To increase length by 1 cm: 100 Forbidden Points]

[To increase girth by 1 cm: 1000 Forbidden Points]

There was silence.

A deep, dangerous silence.

And then—

"...hahahaha..."

It started small.

"...HAHAHA..."

Then escalated fast.

"I can upgrade it too?!" Max whispered—except, not really whispered.

"I’ll have the biggest penis—no, the ultimate penis—a god-tier penis—no, a godly—!"

Yeah... he was definitely saying this out loud now.

Very out loud.

The ward froze.

One patient slowly turned his head.

Another sat upright like his survival instincts just kicked in.

And then, from somewhere nearby:

"Someone take this damn crackhead to the mental hospital already!"

Max coughed awkwardly, scratching his cheek as a hint of embarrassment finally caught up to him.

"Uh... yeah, sorry," he said, trying to sound normal. "Pain medication hit a lot harder than I expected..."

There was a pause.

A collective, cautious pause.

The tension in the room loosened just a little.

"...Well, keep it under control," one of the patients grumbled, clearly still annoyed but no longer preparing for a full-blown horror scenario.

One by one, people settled back into their beds, though a few still shot him suspicious glances—just in case he decided to start laughing at invisible demons again.

Max, meanwhile?

Yeah... he was barely holding it together.

His lips twitched.

Then stretched.

Then completely betrayed him as a wide, shameless grin spread across his face.

Because honestly—how was he supposed to stay calm right now?

He had a system.

A real one.

And not some useless knockoff either.

So, ignoring the side-eyes from the ward, Max leaned back slightly and dove right in, mentally scrolling through everything it had to offer.

Forbidden points. Upgrades. Hidden mechanics.

All the good stuff.

If this thing worked the way he thought it did...

Then becoming absurdly powerful—like, unfairly powerful—was only a matter of time.

Well...

And once that happened?

Let’s just say Max had a very long list of things he planned to do in this world.

Very long.

And not all of them were exactly... heroic.

Enough to become a literal devil.

"Well... not all gods are the good kind," Max muttered to himself, a slow, crooked smirk spreading across his face like he’d just unlocked the wrong ending—and decided he liked it better.