Chapter 36

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At first, Jiang Li couldn’t even hold the pregnancy test. His hands shook so badly that he nearly dropped it into the sink. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and tried to steady his racing heart.

It was okay.

Even if he was pregnant, wouldn’t it be from the person he liked?

But painfully, it wasn’t that simple.

If Shen Yu had taken his first time, perhaps Jiang Li would have accepted it. He had already been prepared to give Shen Yu his trust, his affection—perhaps even his heart.

But this...

This was too much.

He was still inexperienced, and he knew all too well how painful it could be to be born to someone young and unprepared. He didn’t want his child to experience that same pain.

The thought alone terrified him.

Tears streamed down his face before he could even bring himself to look.

After several long moments, he lowered his gaze.

Two pink lines.

Everything inside him seemed to stop.

He couldn’t think. Couldn’t move. He could only stare at the unmistakable result before him.

His breathing grew shallow, as though the air around him had suddenly disappeared. Somewhere nearby, Luo Xin was calling his name, but her voice sounded distant, muffled beneath the rushing in his ears.

Then panic settled into his chest.

Because another thought followed close behind.

Shen Yu would never be happy about this.

Who would be?

If someone they didn’t love suddenly appeared carrying their child... what would they say?

Would Shen Yu ask him to abort the baby?

Would he think Jiang Li was lying?

The thought made Jiang Li’s stomach twist painfully.

His trembling hand moved to rest against his still-flat abdomen.

Could he really do something like that?

Could he really abort...

his baby?

"Jiang Li... please calm down... everything will be okay... trust me..."

Luo Xin’s voice trembled as she wrapped her arms around him, but Jiang Li was breathing so heavily it felt impossible to draw in enough air.

Ironically...

He couldn’t breathe.

His chest tightened painfully, and his vision spun.

"Shen... Yu..." he choked out between sobs, clutching his lower stomach as tears streamed endlessly down his face.

Luo Xin knelt beside him on the bathroom floor, holding the trembling omega tightly against her.

The small space was thick with the scent of sandalwood and amber from her attempts to soothe him.

But to Jiang Li...

It was only a scent.

Not pheromones.

Luo Xin’s shoulders began to shake. Her eyes had turned red, but no tears fell.

She held him tighter, whispering again and again that everything would be okay.

But it felt pointless.

All of it felt pointless.

For how much longer was she supposed to watch him suffer?

For nine long months, she had remained silent, watching what had begun as an innocent crush slowly evolve into something dangerously close to obsession.

But this...

This was the last straw.

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself?!" she cried, her voice breaking as she held him tighter. "Stop hurting yourself... please... just for us..."

The desperation in her voice softened toward the end.

Slowly, the trembling body in her arms began to settle.

Jiang Li’s breathing gradually steadied.

Luo Xin lowered her gaze to look at him—

and froze.

Jiang Li was staring at the floor where the pregnancy test lay discarded.

But what shattered her the most...

was his expression.

Those beautiful honey-brown eyes that had always held warmth and gentleness...

looked unbearably tired.

"I want to go to the doctor... tomorrow," Jiang Li whispered.

His voice was so small that Luo Xin almost missed it.

She nodded immediately, gripping his shoulders.

"I’ll take you myself, I promise. Okay? Please don’t cry. I’ll make sure he takes responsibility, even if I have to beat the shit out of him."

A faint, pained smile tugged at Jiang Li’s lips as he slowly shook his head.

Luo Xin froze.

"I want... to abort..." he said softly, unable to lift his gaze. "I can’t... I’m not ready."

Luo Xin’s eyes widened.

"Why... Jiang Li... you can’t..." Her voice shook violently.

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to calm down.

"Li-er... don’t make a decision today. You’re scared right now."

Jiang Li’s shoulders trembled.

His hand instinctively returned to his stomach.

"I’m... scared..." he whispered brokenly.

"You can’t decide like this," Luo Xin continued, her voice rising before softening once more. "Li-er... please don’t decide tonight. You’re terrified right now. Whatever choice you make... I want it to be because it’s what you truly want, not because you’re scared."

Jiang Li lowered his eyes.

What if his mother had done the same?

What if she had chosen to abort him because she hadn’t been ready?

His hand tightened protectively over his stomach.

How could he be so cruel?

But he wasn’t ready.

He was terrified.

And like fragments of shattered glass surfacing from the depths of his mind, memories he had desperately tried to bury suddenly returned.

"What am I supposed to do with him?! You know I never wanted him in the first place—and he manifested as an omega!"

His father’s voice echoed through his mind, harsh and unforgiving.

Even now, every word remained painfully clear.

Jiang Li hadn’t even been the first child.

Jiang Haoyu had been born before him.

An Alpha.

The son who should have mattered.

If anyone had reacted that way, it should have been his mother.

She had only been seventeen when she became pregnant with him.

She hadn’t been ready.

She had been forced into that decision by family expectations.

And yet...

Even though Jiang Li had been an accident...

she still chose to give birth to him.

Even when her husband had pressured her again and again to terminate the pregnancy...

she still chose him.

And now, twenty-three years later, Jiang Li found himself standing at the very same crossroads his mother once had.

The difference was that, unlike her...

he had considered walking away.

His grip against his stomach tightened.

How could he condemn the pain of his own childhood while contemplating making the same decision out of fear?

The contradiction tore through him.

Loud sobs escaped his throat.

"I’m sorry..." he cried. "I’m sorry... I won’t... I won’t..."

Luo Xin, who had been pacing the small bathroom in anxious silence, froze at his words.

Slowly, she turned back toward him.

Her eyes widened.

Jiang Li wasn’t looking at her.

He was staring blankly at the wall before him.

As though he were seeing someone else entirely.