(Jamina)

Something about the way Alnilam came into my lab with a piece of paper and stared at Amaia rang alarm bells in my mind.

He disappeared later and I found Amaia worrying about him. I know he has been giving her separate lessons but I have always trusted him. He is not the kind to cheat; on the contrary, he can hardly stand most females.

Alnilam has always been a loner, a bit cold and secretive. He likes to carry the weight of the world on his own. He cares deeply for people he likes, but at the same time, he can be ruthless.

I told Amaia to wait and went looking for him. Checking all the places he usually frequents.

Maybe he went to the forest. He likes to go for runs whenever he is stressed. But what I saw there froze my heart and the very blood in my veins.

Snow had Amaia on the ground and he was hovering over her, licking her face. Amaia held him to herself, her hands woven into his fur, her expressions soft.

Werewolves are extremely possessive; they don’t just take any female, especially an alpha wolf like Snow. He doesn’t even let me touch him who has known Alnilam all his life.

He would never lick a random woman, especially the one Alnilam disliked. He had openly shared with me what he had found out about Amaia, but I always believed there had to be an explanation for what he saw.

Women who starve for men’s attention don’t act like Amaia, they act like Rahria and Caria. Although Rahria has changed herself quite a lot, I know the type. Amaia is not like that. She even hates it when Alnitak and Ezran fight over her.

It makes sense now, Alnilam’s recent mood swings. Amaia’s late-night presence in his room. His subtle dislike for her, which appears to be on the surface, but deep down, he cares for her.

Have I been a fool not to see this?

And Amaia.

Has she been silently suffering because Alnilam wouldn’t accept her because of me?

Her pained smiles I understand now.

Tears fall freely as I quietly leave the forest and head over to Alnilam’s room. I don’t enter his place until he gives permission, respecting his privacy but today I want to be here when he comes.

Both of us need to talk. This can’t go on like this, I can’t be the source of pain for someone.

If Amaia can feel the mate bond then she must go through an agonising amount of torture every time Alnilam and I are intimate.

I cry my eyes out. The engagement band on my finger feels heavier than a mountain. My finger and thumb circle it but I am unable to take it off. Alnilam is my life, the very air I breathe. His room carries his soothing scent that always calms my heart, nurtures my soul.

How am I going to survive without him?

At the same time, how can I let myself stand between him and his mate? No, I can’t be that woman.

Finally, the door is pushed open, and Snow enters, his midnight dark eyes take me in with distaste, and then he transforms.

Standing naked in all his glory. This man takes my breath away, even when I have seen him without clothes hundreds of times. I can’t get enough of him.

Worries cloud his eyes, seeing me cry, and yet there is this newfound detachment when he addresses me.

He has been colder, quieter recently, and I thought it was because of the added stress of his work, duties and the burden he carries because of expectations from his father.

Gathering up all the courage I possess I ask him if Amaia is his mate.

He answers with a feigned detachment but I know him better. He cares for her, I have seen it, felt it.

The confirmation slashes at my heart, and I feel like a punch has landed in my belly. I am not even mated to Alnilam and yet it hurts like nothing I have experienced before.

How much Amaia must have suffered because of my actions?

At least he didn’t know that Amaia was his mate until today. That relieves some of the burden and guilt from my heart.

The immeasurable love I hold for him pushes me towards him, screams in my head to hug him but I can’t.

He is no longer mine. Within a few seconds our relationship has altered, from engaged lovers to mere strangers.

How delicate are these relationships and yet I have been living with this delusion that he will always be mine.

He has a mate and I don’t even know where our relationship stands anymore.

And then he heartlessly says, "I am going to reject her so she can be with my brothers in peace."

My hands clasp my mouth at his revelation. He is planning on rejecting a mate. That’s not a joke, it’s the cruellest thing you can do to someone.

According to what I know from Amaia’s point of view, her mate rejected her. She can’t go through another rejection, that will be torture for her. Even though I understand, she has other mates and yet each one of them must be special for her.

Alnilam can be cruel when he wants to be and there is no one who can change his mind when he puts an idea into his head.

The determination in his eyes and how tense his body appears tells me he is dead serious, and at the same time, he is fighting his magic and wolf on this decision.

"You can’t. You have been blessed by the Moon goddess. Isn’t this what you always wanted? Why do you want to throw away this gift?"

When we became engaged, I promised Alnilam that if I ever found my mate I would reject him. But he never made such a promise to me. Low-key, I knew he always wanted to find her, and now that he has, he is going to reject her.

"That’s for the best and in everyone’s interest. I can’t share my mate with others besides I have you. I don’t need anyone else," he says in a pained voice.

Why does this man like to torture himself like that?

I know I should be happy with this decision but I am not. No one can build a life on someone’s pain. And accepting Alnilam after he rejects Amaia will be doing exactly that.

"Alni!" I take a step forward but still keep my distance from him. He swallows and almost takes a step back. His body is already trying to resist me.

What nature plans should never be altered?

"I can’t continue this relationship. I won’t build my life based on someone’s grievances. Your wolf wants her. Your body wants her. Don’t deny them."

Slowly, I twist the ring on my finger. It hurts, not physically, but my heart feels like it’s being slowly dragged out of my chest.

But this is the right thing to do. I take it off and place it on my palm, extending it towards him.

"Take this back and accept Amaia as your mate."