(Alnilam)

"You are a fucking bastard. If you reject Amaia, I will ensure your life will be nothing but hell. I will shred any woman you try to touch like paper under a pair of scissors. Now, I know Amaia is my mate, no other woman will come into your life, be it Jamina or someone else. You reject Amaia, we will live alone till the end of our days," Snow threatens me as soon as the words of rejection leave my mouth.

I expect him to react like that. He has waited a lifetime for our mate and now that we have found her, we can’t have her. At least not in the sense that we wanted.

Knowing him, I know he will even try to hurt my brothers for touching Amaia.

He almost went feral when we couldn’t find our mate after coming of age. Jamina kept me cemented and sane, Snow just tolerated her because of me. She cared for Snow, and we knew that. Even her wolf tried to connect with Snow but that never worked.

The situation is only going to get dire from here. I ignore him for the moment and focus on Jamina.

She appears horrified at my words, not happy or pleased, genuinely shocked. She doesn’t see this as an opportunity. Jamina being Jamina, always trying to do the right thing.

To my surprise, she takes off the ring I had given her and extends it towards me. Tears continue to drop from her saddened eyes.

"Take this back and accept Amaia as your mate."

Blankly I stare at her, not moving.

"Even she knows to do the right thing," Snow seethes.

"I didn’t give you this to take it back. Didn’t you say you would reject your mate if you ever found him? Why is it supposed to be different for me?" I question, trying to mask all my feelings and emotions. Like I have always been taught and expected to.

She offers me a wounded, broken smile. The kind that makes your heart shatter into pieces, never be put together again.

"You are as naive as men usually are, Alni. You stupid, stupid man." She wipes a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand.

I would never let her cry, but today I can’t even touch her, and it fucking hurts, bond or no bond.

In moments like these, I wish I were born a simple human and not bound by these mate bonds, magic, and all the constraints of acting as a royal.

Jamina snivels before speaking again. "I have loved you since I understood the meaning of this stupid word. I never wanted a mate, I just wanted you."

Deep down I know this is true.

She has loved me selflessly.

Broken parts of me.

Cold parts of me.

Undesirable parts of me.

"But you never loved me like that. You always dreamt of a mate and there is nothing wrong with that. Now you finally found her and you want to reject her. Don’t throw away your chance of happiness."

What happiness was Jamina talking about? I am screwed either way.

"You realise there is no winning for me. I reject Amaia, I break my mate’s heart and she will hate me forever. She will still be here for at least two years and don’t forget she is mated to my brothers." Frustratedly I pinch the bridge of my nose. My magic is too silent from the moment I have threatened it.

"I accept her and break off my engagement with you. I break your heart. How will I live with that guilt? Will you be able to stay here with all that baggage between us?" I lay it out for her.

She lowers her eyes, hiding away that brutal pain from me.

"Don’t worry about me. You need to do the right thing. Mate bonds are blessings, our relationship is just temporary."

There is no win for either of us in this effed situation. Jamina thinks she is setting me free but she is not.

"How should I not worry about you? There is no switch in my brain which I can just turn off and forget the lifetime I have spent with you." My voice gets raised as I knock my temple with my index finger.

Jamina lets out a pained whimper. "I know..."

"Just keep the ring for now. I can’t deal with all this so suddenly. What are we going to tell everyone? I am not spreading the news of Amaia being my mate. You know what chaos that will bring."

Slowly, she nods. Jamina knows not everyone at Orion has our best interests at heart. They need a reason to create drama.

"I won’t be coming over anymore. I will help but you need to make a decision. We can’t live like this. You, me, Amaia and others involved."

I knew this was coming.

"Tomorrow, I will visit Huradis and seek answers. Once I get to the bottom of whatever affects Amaia, I will make my decision, and that will be final," I tell Jamina, and she nods, defeated.

Her fingers close over the ring, but she doesn’t wear it on her finger.

"I wish things had turned out differently but it is what it is. No matter where our paths lead us, if you ever need me I will be there for you." She straightens her body and wipes her face.

"You have always been there for me when no one else was. You are the reason I have survived." Why does my heart hurt so much saying these words?

With a broken smile, Jamina turns away from me and slowly walks out the door, closing it behind her, leaving me with messed-up thoughts and emotions I don’t even know how to control.

The rage builds up inside me fueled by my anger and resentment.

Why? Why me?

The heart goes restless in my chest, the pressure builds and then suddenly explodes outwards like an unseen force, spreading from me like an elastic band stretched until it snaps.

Chaos breaks loose and everything in my room just blasts.

What did I do?