By the time Choi Jeho returned, the foundation had already been perfectly carved into a neat └┘ shape. His strong younger brothers had finished everything before their eldest brother even got back.

『Jeho: This is better.』

Thankfully, the eldest was also the dumbest, so it didn’t become a problem. Maybe I’d expected too much from these idiots.

Choi Jeho and Park Juu immediately started setting up pillars with the solemn responsibility of making sure the youngest slept in a cozy shelter where the rain wouldn’t reach him. Meanwhile, Kang Giyeon wandered around the island searching for something suitable to use as a roof.

He wandered for quite a while before eventually stopping in front of a banana tree with an unhappy look on his face.

Kang Giyeon slowly brushed a hand down the trunk with deep lingering regret.

『Giyeon: No matter how I look at it, this thing’s still the best option.......』

『PD: Hahahahahaha』

Kang Giyeon spent the entire time gloomily collecting banana leaves. Every now and then, he even slipped in prettier leaves because he wanted to “preserve the design elements.” What really pissed me off was that this bastard also stopped to smell the brown leaves.

『Giyeon: Would it be weird if it smelled like bananas while we sleep?』

『PD: How would I know.......』

『Giyeon: .......』

『PD: Want me to smell them for you......?』

The camera captured Kang Giyeon and the PD standing about two steps apart. The sight of two grown men burying their noses into banana leaves in the middle of a forest was profoundly bizarre. Judging by how much the camera kept shaking, the cameraman was probably struggling not to laugh.

"Are there only banana trees on every island you guys go to? You said this place was different from last time."

"Must be fate. Maybe I’ve got a lot of wood in my fortune or something."

Lee Cheonghyeon said something horrifying. If Spark’s official account ever started using banana emojis, I had no idea what kind of atrocities I might commit against bananas.

Anyway, Kang Giyeon eventually returned carrying a fishing net stuffed full of eco friendly green sheet material he’d gathered from the shore.

『Juu: That’s a lot....... Did you bring all of that to cover the roof?』

『Giyeon: I think we should lay some underneath too. If we sleep directly on the ground, dirt’ll get all over our clothes.』

Listening to this meaningless conversation for too long was making my mind go hazy. It almost felt like I was taking one of those old English listening tests that had vanished into history.

Is this leaf a roof? Yes, it is a roof. Is this leaf also a roof? No, it is a mat.......

After countless twists and turns, the hut where the three of them would stay was finally completed. It was truly a tiny, modest space where all three of them would have to sleep shoulder to shoulder.

『Giyeon: We’ve evolved.』

『Juu: Seriously......!』

The two of them were deeply moved. Their faces looked genuinely unable to believe they no longer had to sleep directly on dirt.

『Jeho: Let’s go find food.』

As expected, Choi Jeho, the oldest among them, wasn’t the type to get emotional over something like this. Leaving behind a house that looked ready to blow away in a strong gust of wind, the three of them set off on a journey to secure food.

『Jeho: Why’s this thing so red?』

『Juu: Isn’t it a ripe mango......?』

『Giyeon: Do mangoes turn red when they ripen? Bananas turn yellow.』

That was because the thing you found was an apple mango.

『Giyeon: If the tree rings lean to one side, that means the direction is...... what was it again?』

『Juu: Really......?』

Sure. But when you don’t even know whether you built the house facing east or north, what difference does it make? Maybe half the hut had already blown away and drifted into the ocean by now.

『Juu: ......If there’s not much food, I’m okay with skipping meals for a day or so.』

『Jeho: You’ve still gotta eat.』

『Giyeon: Right. You’ll collapse otherwise, hyung.』

Even so, the three of them kept encouraging each other and pushing forward. It was honestly heartwarming. Just like Choi Jeho said, they’d eat whatever they found first.......

『Juu: There are so many bugs.......』

『Giyeon: Lizards too.』

『Jeho: ......Can’t we eat lizards?』

......No, you bastard, please don’t eat the lizards. Just hang in there a little longer and keep looking for actual food! You’ve still got plenty of stamina left, don’t give up so easily, life is still worth living!

I bounced furiously on the couch in outrage. Thankfully, the disaster of them actually trying to catch lizards never came to pass.

『Giyeon: There doesn’t seem to be much meat on them. Are you gonna catch one?』

『Jeho: No.』

It wasn’t because of any rational reason. He simply thought the amount of food wasn’t worth the effort. Watching this variety show felt like staring at a stock market graph with how violently my emotions kept rising and falling.

『Juu: Think we can get coconuts......?』

The moment Park Juu asked that question, activity finally entered the otherwise peaceful footage. Choi Jeho put on a pair of work gloves they’d found on the beach, slapped the tree trunk a few times with his palms, then took off his shoes.

Choi Jeho was strangely good at climbing trees. Even the captions praised his hidden talent so aggressively it practically looked like burn marks were being left on the screen. Apparently bears were naturally good climbers.

『Jeho: Move back. I’ll bring them down.』

『Giyeon: It’s dangerous if you drop them while climbing down! Just throw them!』

『Jeho: What if they break?』

『Juu: Better the coconuts break than someone gets hurt......!』

Watching Choi Jeho throwing coconuts down from the top of a palm tree brought something to mind that definitely wasn’t idol-like.

Like a siege weapon...... or something.

At least he showed a hint of wisdom by trying to throw them onto piles of fallen leaves.

『Jeho: Did we pick enough fruit?』

『Giyeon: Probably? We’ve got mangoes too. ......Juu hyung, do you happen to have the mangoes?』

Kang Giyeon peered into the net basket he’d plugged with leaves and asked.

『Juu: Huh?』

Park Juu’s blank expression and giant hands filled the screen together.

It happened right after the moment he’d been nervously worrying about whether his hyung might fall out of the tree, his grip tightening so hard that he’d mercilessly crushed the apple mango in his hand. Mango juice dripped from the tragic remains of what had once been a mango.

≫ Joomango

And just like that, a glorious new nickname appeared in the live comment feed. Somewhere far away, I could hear the sound of Park Juu’s elf allegations being utterly destroyed.

The three idiot brothers continued their expedition while sharing the remains of the apple mango. One arm carried coconuts, the other carried eco friendly blankets—the leaves Kang Giyeon had gathered earlier had all been used for the roof and flooring—and the bastards just kept marching endlessly forward.

That is, until the PD finally told them the area beyond that point hadn’t been scouted and they weren’t allowed to go farther.

Today’s educational fact: since the Earth is round, if you keep walking long enough, you’ll eventually reach a restricted area.

Living up to their good fortune with food, the three of them returned with both hands full. Park Juu played a major role by making aggressive use of the guidebook.

『Giyeon: Isn’t this mushroom edible?』

『Juu: No. That one’s dangerous.』

『Jeho: They all look pretty much the same.』

『Juu: Risks you can’t prepare for should always be treated with caution......!』

With the eyes of a hawk and absurdly strict standards, Park Juu perfectly sorted the edible mushrooms from the dangerous ones. His policy of ruthlessly cutting out anything even slightly risky was perfect for broadcast. It was more than enough to make up for annihilating the apple mango.

At the bottom of the screen, a small caption appeared.

‘These mushrooms were consumed under expert supervision. Never recklessly eat mushrooms gathered in forests.’

Even the low quality shack somehow remained standing without a single part collapsing. Honestly, it might’ve been better if half of it had blown away so they could at least rebuild it properly, but apparently they’d jammed the supports deep enough into the ground that it refused to collapse.

If only it had rained, that pathetic excuse for a house—no. Calling that thing a house was an insult to cozy living spaces. That miserable tent would’ve collapsed immediately and forced them down the path of reconstruction. At least then those idiots might’ve gotten to sleep somewhere slightly better tonight.......

After the outdoor barbecue episode and now their second deserted island trip, Choi Jeho had practically become the god of fire. He handled a fire starter as casually as a disposable lighter and got the flames going with ease.

The scene where the three of them suddenly grabbed burning firewood and stormed toward the beach in a pack because they wanted to see whether there were fish that could only be caught at night was pretty funny.

That was a lie. Actually, it wasn’t funny at all. It felt bizarre, like I was witnessing a historic moment where primitive humans had just discovered fire and expanded their active hours into the nighttime for the first time.

By the time they actually managed to catch some unknown fish, I was starting to wonder, ‘Are these idiots genuinely achieving revolutionary progress? Should I actually be congratulating them?’

The fish they caught after midnight was filleted and smoked by Kang Giyeon. So Park Juu mentioning smoking earlier had been foreshadowing all along. Even though this was supposedly a documentary variety show, the narrative symmetry within a single episode was flawless.

Episode 1 ended with the three of them crawling into the hut and slowly closing their eyes one by one. At first glance, it looked like they were going to sleep, but in reality everyone had shut their eyes early because the smoke stung too badly. Last time they’d literally slept in a hole in the ground, so there was no way they understood how important wind direction was.

The beautiful image of starlight mixed with sparks drifting from the campfire slowly faded out.

"So Episode 1 finally ended."

Jeong Seongbin forced the corners of his mouth upward.

"It was a really long and difficult journey."

"Was it really that bad?"

"Jeho, put your hand on your heart and think about it."

Choi Jeho casually ignored me. What made it three times more irritating was the fact that, even in the middle of that, he smoothly turned to another member and started talking naturally for the camera, creating the perfect illusion that ‘Choi Jeho wasn’t ignoring Kim Iwol because he disliked him, he was simply steering the conversation elsewhere for the sake of entertainment.’

"I was honestly moved, though."

While Choi Jeho remained silent despite being told to put a hand over his heart, Lee Cheonghyeon unexpectedly folded both hands neatly together and spoke instead.

"It feels like we witnessed the progress of human civilization."

"The progress came way too late."

Maybe I sounded more resolute than expected, because Lee Cheonghyeon burst into laughter.

But this wasn’t called “Uninhabited Rest Stop Island” for nothing.

The moment the ninety second commercial break ended, a brutal preview crashed down on us.

『Giyeon: Want the good news first or the bad news first?』

『Juu: The bad news.』

『Giyeon: The fire went out while we were moving it.』

『Juu: ......Then what’s the good news?』

『Giyeon: Our eyes won’t sting while we sleep anymore.』

『Juu: I think one of my clothes disappeared.......』

『PD: Apparently monkeys steal clothes around here all the time.』

『Juu: !』

『Juu: Where did Jeho hyung go......?』

『Giyeon: He went into the ocean shirtless earlier.』

No sooner had he finished speaking than Choi Jeho sprinted across the screen carrying some enormous object out of the sea. Because of the mosaic blur, it was impossible to tell what exactly he’d caught.

That was when one of the staff members sitting beyond the table quietly slid a white cue card in front of Jeong Seongbin.

Jeong Seongbin read it first with his eyes before announcing in a trembling voice,

"And now for a surprise event! A small gift will be given...... to the Sparklers who correctly guess what kind of food Jeho hyung caught in the ocean......."

Lee Cheonghyeon slammed the table while laughing. With the sound of explosive laughter serving as background music, Jeong Seongbin desperately continued explaining how to enter the event. I wanted to help ease the burden on our exhausted leader, but I was already too drained to do anything myself.