Taesan’s POV

A funny ache spreads in my chest as I feel him shut the bond and I thump my head against the car seat.

Fuck.

I still haven’t left the hospital vicinity, I couldn’t fucking start the car and drive off, when I know he’s still not awake and that I have sinned against him.

"Junho" I say into the phone as soon as the beta accepts my call, and he responds with a grunt.

"Where are you?" I ask and he huffs, he sounds like he jumped off something, "I’m at the gym" he responds and I tap my finger against the seat.

"The assignment I gave, did you follow through?" I ask.

"The new targets?"

"No, the guitar, have you hidden it?" I ask and he hesitates to give me a response, like he’s waiting to say something offensive.

"Junho" I growl and he growls back, "aren’t you going too far? That guitar is his mother’s only remaining property" he says and I shut my eyes.

"Did you do what I ordered you?" I ask in a voice that sounds like a growl, and he goes quiet.

"Don’t try to use your status on me" he says after a few seconds and my eyes snap open as I grip the phone hard, already getting irritated with him.

"You have no idea how much this is costing me, how dare you think I want to hurt Seoha just for the fun of it?" I snarl into the phone.

"I dare think that way because I know you Kang Taesan! you fucking raped him" Junho yells, and the words are like a slap across my face.

"Junho" I growl his name.

Shame, I feel so much shame, so much anger.

"You did that to him, and he still chose to stay, you hurt him and he still came for you and Sooin, don’t you fucking think?"

"Fuck it Junho, I don’t want to hurt him, okay? I am fucking in love with him" I hear myself shout and shut my mouth too late.

I love Seoha...

I’m in love with Seoha.

I drop my head against the head rest of my car, everything is starting to get too heavy, why the hell am I in love with him?

"Taesan" Junho calls me in a softer tone, I can his hear harsh breathing, he is really angry at me.

"Loving is not a crime, it’s a gift" he says.

"It killed my mother, it...it almost killed Seoha" I say dragging my finger down my face, all the anger I felt towards the innocent omega has gone away.

I’m seeing clearer now, and my chest...is starting to hurt worse.

"You’re allowed to love, damn it, San, you should love and be loved" Junho says on the other side of the call and a strange wetness slides down my face.

I lift my hand and touch it, my hands are shaking, what is this...tears?

"San, don’t let your grandfather’s life shape you" my right-hand man says.

"It’s too late, Seoha will never want me back" I say with a bitter laughter, wiping the tears off, why won’t it stop?

"Then you beg for it, he begged you to love him, it’s your turn" Junho says and I squeeze my eyes shut again.

Beg?

Kang Taesan, CEO of Mountain Atelier, and captain of the underground world...beg?

"How can I?" I ask.

I am willing to do it, my peace of mind has been stolen, my sanity has been stolen, my heart too is gone, these are more important than a stupid black card.

"Minjae texted to ask for Seoha’s things, start there" he says and I end the call.

His things? That means he’s leaving me, fuck, what about Sooin? What about our deal to play house?

I drop my head forward, my body is shaking and my breathing sounds funny, tears keep streaming.

Why won’t it fucking stop?

It takes twenty minutes for me to put myself together, I wipe off the wetness, I pat the back of the driver seat, letting the driver know its time to take me home.

And as soon as we get home, I put a bullet through his head, letting him leave earth with what he saw me do as his last experience.

Captain doesn’t cry.

I wipe my hands clean on his shirt, and too tired to say anything, I point at one of the guards and then point to the car.

Instruction is simple; clean up.

My steps are heavy as I go up, and immediately when I open the door, I am ambushed by my daughter.

Sooin hugs me tightly for a few seconds and doesn’t let go.

"Princess" I whisper, patting her head and she looks up at me, she has been crying.

"Dad, I love you so much, you’re my best dad in the world" she says and I pick her up, pressing my face into her hair.

"I love you too, Sooinie, dad loves you very much" I say and she nods.

Yuki is standing there with her hands in front of her, she doesn’t look in my face, probably remembering the last interaction we had.

"Good job Yuki, you can go home" I say to her and she bows before walking out.

"Have you eaten?" I ask Sooin and she shakes her head, "I miss daddy, is he coming back soon?" she asks innocently and I hum.

"Did he leave us?" she asks, patting my head and I smile at her, it’s a regretful one.

"No, he will visit us soon" I tell her and she pout.

"I don’t want daddy to visit, I want him to live with us forever, I love daddy" she says, but she doesn’t cry...fuck.

What did I do to deserve a brilliant child like her? How can I make sure her intelligence isn’t born out of pain?

"I know, I love daddy too" I say, keeping my voice just between the two of us.

I love Shin Seoha.

"I’ll bring daddy back home, I promise" I say and kiss my pup’s cheek, it’s a stamp.

Seoha will be mine again...I need to get my sketch pad and get on my sewing machine.