This is my home, I grew up here, and I have the same feelings as them.

Zhang Zhentian knew deep down that the pain he had brought to his son might be something that could never be erased in this lifetime.

As a parent, who wouldn’t understand in their heart that their child doesn’t know how much pain their choices have caused them? But ultimately, they can only pretend it never happened. If only they could choose to forget, perhaps others might see it all as just a dream. 𝑓𝑟ℯ𝘦𝓌𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝑐ℴ𝓂

Why does my life always bring pain to my child? Is it really that difficult to let him live happily under my wings? That’s not what I want. All I want is for my family, my relatives, and everyone to be happy. But why does every decision, every action I take, always turn out the opposite of what I imagined? Why can’t I ever make my family truly happy?

Are none of my actions ever right? Why can’t I ever bring happiness to my family? Does it mean I’ve never done anything good in my life? I don’t ask for much, just for my family to be happy. Why do my actions ultimately turn all of this into nothing but illusions?

Why do the ones I love keep leaving me, is it just because I’ve done something wrong? Does making a mistake have to lead to a lifetime of hatred? Why can’t they forgive me just once? Just once, even once would be enough. Perhaps, it is precisely because of repeated harm that everything becomes so complicated, making everyone not want to stay by my side, driving them to leave me and travel far away. Perhaps it is my actions that have caused everyone so much pain and suffering.

If heaven could truly give me another chance, I would never do anything to make my family sad or hurt. All of my past actions have changed everyone so much, yet why haven’t I ever faced consequences? If heaven is willing to forgive me, then please strike me with lightning, so I never wake up again. In opening my eyes, there would be only pain, no joy. The pain has blinded my eyes and engulfed my entire heart, spreading pain throughout.

When the pain within me spread throughout my entire being, only then did I truly understand what I really wanted, but by then it was too late. I had already lost the person who loved me the most, I had lost my whole world. All I could do is shed silent tears, with no way to turn back time. All of this was the consequence of my own actions, no one else is to blame. Perhaps heaven is truly fair: because of my actions, he left me for good and never returned.

"My child, perhaps you will never understand a certain pain, which is leaving the one you love the most, and because of your mistakes, that beloved person gives up on you forever. You never experienced such pain. Do you understand? Before I met your father, I had a particularly wonderful boyfriend.

The time spent with him was the happiest in my life. He gave me a joy that no one else could, an all-encompassing love, until I peeled it away layer by layer like an onion. Do you know how much his heart hurt?

I don’t know how to truly feel the pain in his heart. I only know he was desperate enough to delete all contact information with me. You never thought about how I got through those years. Every day felt like a year to me. I constantly missed him, wanted him back next to me, but ultimately, there was nothing I could do.

He left, and he left for good, never to return to my side again. I knew in my heart that I had truly lost him forever. Because of my actions, I hurt him. I added his contact information over and over, but he ignored me each time. Ultimately, he changed all his contact information. At that moment, I was so desperate. I finally understood the depth of his despair and realized the immense hurt I caused him. I deeply regret my actions. If only I hadn’t acted willfully, if only I hadn’t made those unthinkably cruel decisions towards him. He loved me so deeply, willing to give me the world. Until the end, he told me that I was in all his plans, but ultimately, we ended up like this. Do you know what kind of pain that is? It’s a pain that can never be forgotten, etched in my soul. You think the pain we as parents caused you is engraved in your bones? Know this, the pain I caused him is engraved in his heart. When I found out he had erased all traces of being with me, I realized he was truly desperate and I understood I would never have another chance to see him again. The world is so vast, where could I possibly find him? I don’t know where he actually lives, just living day by day in a blind pursuit..."

Zhang Yichen was stunned as he listened to his mother’s words. He never imagined his mother had such a profound love story. It turns out she wasn’t heartless; she merely knew that her actions hurt someone she loved and that she could never be the same again. Even now, she made decisions that repeatedly hurt her loved ones. Her heart wasn’t evil, but she had forgotten how to respect and love others. She only knew how to live selfishly, perhaps to prevent each person from recalling past pain. Yet, she forgot the greatest thing in the world is respect, is the trust and loyalty between people...

The streets walked, the winds that blew, are so vivid and unforgettable. But in the end, he can only grow up alone.