Attention Sir, I Have Your Heart Handcuffed!-Chapter 510 - 368. I want to remember (Part 2, Update 1)

Du Songlin’s Clinic.

Shi Nian tightened her grip on her bag and walked in.

The nurse in a fresh apple green uniform stood up, smiling sweetly as she asked, "Hello, do you have an appointment?"

Shi Nian shook her head, "Sorry, no. Could you please ask Doctor Du if he can squeeze me in for a consultation?"

"Alright, please wait a moment."

The nurse went into the consulting room with a smile to inquire, while Shi Nian sat down in the waiting area.

The sofa cover was a warm but not intense rose pink, calming one’s mood.

Originally, she could have asked many people to help make an appointment with Du Songlin. Whether it was Tang Yanqing, An Cheng, or Huo Danru, they all could have helped. But she came on her own because she didn’t want them to know about today’s matter just yet.

Shortly after, the nurse came out smiling, "Doctor Du said that even without an appointment, since you’re here, please come in."

Shi Nian felt a warmth in her heart and walked into the consulting room.

Du Songlin was putting on his doctor’s coat. Clearly, it was already off-duty hours, and he had taken it off; he was now putting it back on again.

Shi Nian bowed, "Sorry to trouble you."

Du Songlin looked up and was surprised to see Shi Nian, "Shi Nian? Why is it you? Why are you still being so formal with Uncle Du?"

Although Du Songlin didn’t speak directly with Shi Nian often, he had long seen through Tang Yanqing’s feelings for her. Moreover, Huo Danru and An Cheng had both mentioned this child to him; he knew she had quietly helped Huo Danru and her daughter with many things, and he had long felt grateful.

"I came abruptly, and embarrassed Uncle Du," she said.

Du Songlin observed Shi Nian’s expression and saw her indecisiveness.

"I understand. You’ve just made up your mind, which is why you came suddenly."

Shi Nian admired him, "Uncle Du sees right through everything."

Du Songlin understood that Shi Nian had something important to discuss, so he instructed the nurse to cancel all appointments and let her leave for the day.

The clinic grew quiet, and Du Songlin adjusted the lights to a softer setting to help relieve Shi Nian’s stress.

This detail further showcased Du Songlin’s professionalism.

Shi Nian gratefully smiled, "Thank you."

Du Songlin then said, "The unfamiliarity of the environment is reduced, and the intensity of the light is relaxed. If you are ready now, you can talk to me."

Shi Nian nodded, "...Actually, I heard from Auntie Huo that your expertise in hypnosis is even beyond hers."

"Oh?" Du Songlin smiled at Huo Danru’s praise but still modestly said, "She is being humble. So, what you want to discuss with me is about hypnosis."

Du Songlin was not surprised by this. After all, at their first meeting, he had detected issues with her language and memory centers, inferring that her memory had been tampered with.

Shi Nian lightly smiled, "I also remembered, the first time I met you, you suddenly asked me a question about vocabulary usage. I didn’t understand the intent then, but thinking back now, you had already noticed my anomaly."

Shi Nian stood up and bowed respectfully, "Uncle Du, please help me. I want to recover my past memories."

Du Songlin considered her request seriously, "Child, remembering everything isn’t necessarily happiness; sometimes, choosing to forget and let go is the best choice."

Shi Nian genuinely agreed, "Uncle Du is right, I have hesitated before. I know that event was the greatest disaster of my life, with more negative than positive significance. So I’ve also thought, since I’ve forgotten, let it go, there’s no need to recover it."

Especially after meeting Tang Yanqing again. Although she still couldn’t recall all their shared past, that sense of loss was gone. Deep down, she knew that perhaps he was whom she had been looking for all along. Even if she forgot the past or missed out, as long as they were reunited, it was enough.

She understood that what was lost was lost, never to be recovered. Like Dad, and the once-perfect family. Lost things should be let go, and the chance to retrieve what can still be recovered might be another form of perfection.

"But some things happened later. Uncle Du, you might have heard from Auntie Huo and the security checks—it’s a series of cases. Although these cases happened in M Country, far away from what I went through, I can’t help but feel that they are somehow related to my past experiences."

Moreover, Jieyou appeared later on.

"If it were just my personal losses and gains, I’ve learned to let go; but now it appears that my past implicates many others, and I can’t continue to avoid it. So, please help me, Uncle Du."

.

Du Songlin thought for a moment, then printed some documents for Shi Nian: "This is a test, please complete it."

After Shi Nian completed it, Du Songlin evaluated the results, but his expression became more solemn.

"From your test, you’ve already strongly overcome PTSD. Your fragmented memory isn’t caused by PTSD."

Shi Nian nodded, "I’ve gradually remembered some things over the years. Though some fragments can’t perfectly piece together the full picture, with some reasoning, I’ve been able to manage some memories on my own."

"So the current problem is the hypnosis that was done on you back then."

Shi Nian took a deep breath, "I understand. I also already know who that person is."

Du Songlin raised an eyebrow slightly, "Since you know who performed the hypnosis, why not go to that person for ’awakening’? After all, their methods would be the safest."

Du Songlin’s gaze suddenly shifted, "Could it be that you don’t trust that person?"

Du Songlin was sharp, hitting right on the matter at her heart. Shi Nian admitted, "...Because I was hypnotized against my will, I can’t fully open my heart to that person now."

Du Songlin furrowed his brows, "But you understand that each person’s hypnosis techniques differ; not every psychologist can successfully unravel another’s methods. Particularly if that person is also an expert; it could be like going awry during practice, and even a slight mistake could cause you tremendous harm."

Shi Nian nodded, "But I want to try."

Du Songlin’s brows furrowed deeper.

"From your test results, you’re mentally independent and strong now, and your subjective desire to recover your memory is strong. I thought you’d be able to break through some of the barriers yourself. But you haven’t. Have you thought about why?"

Shi Nian lowered her head, "...Someone once said, maybe I don’t want to remember."

Du Songlin nodded slowly, "Exactly, that’s also what I’m concerned about."

"Even though you are sitting in front of me, clearly expressing your wish to recall, I worry that deep down, you still want to avoid it. Your conscious and subconscious are at odds." 𝘧𝘳𝘦ℯ𝓌𝘦𝒷𝘯𝑜𝑣𝘦𝓁.𝒸𝘰𝓂

Du Songlin didn’t agree to help Shi Nian right away. "I hope you’ll think it over. Don’t decide now; come to me when you’re ready."

Shi Nian felt desolate but was unwilling to give up so easily.

"Uncle Du, could you tell me when a person can be like me, wanting to remember but subconsciously resisting?"

Du Songlin’s gaze met hers, "Perhaps your intuition is reminding you: the answer is something you don’t want. If that answer surfaces, some of the beautiful things you have now will be shattered."

Shi Nian bit her lip.

She wasn’t surprised. She thought of Tang Yanqing, how he always seemed hesitant when mentioning the past, and how he emphasized having ’hurt her.’

But she comforted herself by thinking, with his feelings for her, what could he possibly have done to hurt her? Having heard it so often, she cared even less. Her subconscious resolved that he couldn’t have really harmed her.

Did he mean in the darkness, when they couldn’t see each other’s faces, he did something to her, calling it ’harm’?

So she shook her head with a carefree smile, "But even I find that hard to believe. I know the memories from back then aren’t pleasant, but given my age and mental resilience now, I feel there’s nothing I can’t face."

Seeing her resolve, Du Songlin nodded, "Alright, I will respect your decision. But don’t rush to start tonight. Think it over, and when you’re ready, we’ll begin."

Shi Nian got up and bowed, "I’ll follow your advice. Thank you."

.

Regarding the past events, besides Huangfu Huazhang, Xiang Yuan, and Tang Yanqing, there was another person who might be able to help her.

—Qi Xiuqi.

Shi Nian decided to meet Qi Xiuqi the next day.

As a shared witness, Qi Xiuqi might help her remember more about the past causes and effects.

.

In a certain country in Asia.

As night fell, the world, having experienced a day’s battle, finally quieted down.

However, it wasn’t completely peaceful; occasionally, in the distance from somewhere unknown, artillery fire could be heard, followed by flashes of firelight across the dark night sky.