DASH-Chapter 134

‘No, probably not.’

Jiheon quickly shook his head.

Jaekyoung also mentioned he never really thought about having children. He didn’t just say it was okay to have them or not; he expressed it as if he had never even considered it. There was no reason for him to want a child now, so he must have taken birth control pills beforehand.

While Jiheon was justifying this in his mind based on the last fact, Jaekyoung came bringing medicine and water for him.

“Read this carefully before taking it, hyung.”

Following Jaekyoung’s insistence, Jiheon carefully read the medication guide twice and then swallowed the medicine. Jaekyoung looked away with his arms crossed while Jiheon took the medicine. When Jiheon was done and stood up, Jaekyoung said, “Give it to me,” and extended his hand.

“Let me bring this back.”

“That’s okay, hyung. Just sit there.”

Jaekyoung said that and left the empty water glass in the kitchen.

“Hyung, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you going to sleep more?”

“Well, no.”

Jiheon said as he took off the knitwear he had just put on with the intention of going to the hospital, draping it on the bed frame.

“My back hurts for sleeping too much.”

As Jiheon said this while putting back on the T-shirt he had hastily taken off earlier, Jaekyoung picked up the pants that had fallen on the floor and handed them to Jiheon. He then waited for Jiheon to change all of his clothes before speaking.

“I’m sorry.”

Jiheon was surprised by the sudden apology and exclaimed:

“What? What for? Rather, I should say sorry. You had to come to all those places in the cold early morning because of me.”

“But if I had endured it, you wouldn’t have had to take the medication.”

Jaekyoung lowered his gaze to the floor, sweeping up his bangs. Anyone could see that he was blaming himself, prompting Jiheon to quickly interject:

“No, hey, that’s not true. I encouraged you. I remember everything too.”

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Yes, and this realization drove him crazy. Now he understood why many people sought psychological counseling after experiencing their first heat.

“And you also went into a rut because of me. How could you endure it in that situation?”

‘I couldn’t endure it either, so I was clinging to you and saying all sorts of things to you.’

He seriously debated whether to say this, unsure if it was digging his own grave, but Jaekyoung sat down next to him before he could.

“I thought I could control myself even when I’m in heat.”

“What......?”

Jiheon forgot what he was going to say, looking at Jaekyoung with a blank expression.

“No, hey, you... normally can’t even control yourself, so how could you control yourself when you’re in heat...? Do you think that’s possible?”

Jiheon was so flabbergasted that he couldn’t even speak properly. As he barely stuttered, Jaekyoung said with a serious expression:

“I know, right. I’m always in that state, so I thought it would be the same when I’m in heat. It’s not that I couldn’t endure it normally, it’s just that I chose not to, so I thought I could just put up my mind and endure it this time.”

“Oh really? It’s not that you couldn’t endure it normally, but because you chose not to?”

Meanwhile, Jiheon raised one eyebrow and spoke.

“......That’s not the point right now.”

Jaekyoung seemed to realize belatedly that he had said something unfavorable, and with a serious face, he lowered his voice. Then he let out a sigh again and lay down on the bed, saying:

“So this is what happens when you’re in heat for real.”

Placing one hand on his forehead, he muttered while gazing at the ceiling, creating an unusual atmosphere.

Jiheon was not only very bewildered by those words, but also surprised that Jaekyoung was genuinely shocked. Above all, he was amazed that Jaekyoung seriously believed he could control himself even when in heat.

‘This guy... he really has tremendous faith and confidence in himself.’

Jiheon was once again astonished. Honestly, he found it absurd given Jaekyoung’s confidence was huge, but he chose not to mention it. Jaekyoung was already depressed after experiencing a real failure(?) this time, so there was no need to rub salt in the wound on purpose.

And strictly speaking, wasn’t he the fundamental cause of Jaekyoung’s frustration(!)?

Jiheon felt a sense of responsibility, even if belatedly, and tried hard to comfort Jaekyoung.

“Hey, that really isn’t possible even with the strongest willpower. If people could control themselves, why would they take medication and get injections? They’re relying on medication because they can’t do it.”

“But still.”

Jaekyoung spoke in a subdued voice.

“I don’t understand how I could do that, even though I saw you struggling and hurting so much.”

This guy was probably referring to something that happened during knotting. Jiheon still thought that Jaekyoung was considerate of him during that time and did everything he could to maintain a good position, but from Jaekyoung’s perspective, it seemed like that wasn’t the case.

Was this why there was a saying that those who’ve beaten someone can’t sleep with their legs stretched out, but those who’ve been beaten can?

As Jiheon was lost in somewhat misguided thoughts, Jaekyoung lay down on the bed, stretched out his arms, and carefully hugged Jiheon’s waist.

“Hyung, it hurt a lot, didn’t it?”

Jiheon wanted to somehow ease the mind of the guy who “beat” him, but since he cried and begged in pain and even passed out, telling such an obvious lie didn’t seem comforting. So, he spoke honestly.

“Not that much, just enough to faint.”

“......”

Jaekyoung’s expression became gloomy again. Eventually, his arms around Jiheon’s waist slowly loosened and went down. Jiheon smiled and lay down next to him because his rarely-seen depressed look was both cute and pitiful. He grabbed Jaekyoung, who avoided eye contact, and made him look towards him. He then hugged him affectionately and said:

“But other than that, it was alright. It wasn’t as terrible as I thought.”

Jaekyoung looked at him as if asking, “Really...?”

Seeing that openly skeptical expression, Jiheon gently touched his cheek and offered a smile.

“Really. I doubt I could’ve done that if I were sober, but... it’s still nice because I did it with you.”

Jiheon finally unveiled his true feelings.

“I wouldn’t have liked it if it were someone else.”

Yes, he liked it because it was Jaekyoung, and that realization put him at ease. He was confident that Jaekyoung would accept him in any way he could be. Moreover, Jaekyoung had actually told him that the more Jiheon revealed his hidden side, the happier he would be. So, Jiheon felt more willing to throw away his reason and hold onto Jaekyoung.

“But I feel sorry that you had to go through something you didn’t have to because of me.”

When Jiheon, belatedly humbled, attempted to withdraw his hand from Jaekyoung’s cheek, Jaekyoung quickly grabbed it back and stated:

“No, the rut itself wasn’t bad for me either.”

“Is that so...?”

Jaekyoung pressed his lips against Jiheon’s palm and nodded.

“I liked it because you asked me to do many things and revealed a lot of your erotic sides. Honestly, if it weren’t for what happened at the end, I thought I might want to do it again.”

‘Well, yeah... as long as you don’t knot me.’

Jiheon thought to himself. Honestly, the sex itself wasn’t bad. No, it was actually good. It was the only time when he could desire his partner without thinking about anything else. During that moment, he could forget all shame, embarrassment, and even himself. Nobody said anything, but it wasn’t just one-sided; both sides were in the same state, so there was a kind of mental satisfaction beyond simple physical stimulation.

He could immediately understand why Alpha–Omega couples or lovers sometimes stopped taking suppressants and went through their heat together, even if they didn’t necessarily plan on pregnancy.

However, the knotting process was very painful, and more than anything, Jiheon didn’t think he could do it again because of the fear of pregnancy. So, as soon as he thought about this, he said, ‘This might be the first and last time I’m in heat in my life.’

“Hyung, can I ask you something?”

Jiheon blinked, questioning silently.

Jaekyoung gazed at him calmly and then asked in a composed voice.

“Do you have no plans to have a child in the future?”

At that moment, Jiheon felt a sinking sensation in his heart. It was more about Jaekyoung’s expression than the question itself. The unusually careful yet earnest look on his face suggested that he wasn’t merely asking out of curiosity. It was obvious that there was an answer he wanted.

Jiheon considered brushing it off and moving on as usual, but he swiftly changed his mind. If Jaekyoung was asking seriously, it was only fair to respond just as seriously.

“Why, Jaekyoung-ah? Do you want to have a child?”

Jaekyoung didn’t reply. Rather than intentionally staying silent, it seemed he wasn’t quite sure of his feelings yet. So Jiheon spoke first.

“You said you never really thought about it before.”

“Yes. I never really thought about it.”

This time, the answer came right away.

“Because I originally thought you were a Beta, so there was no choice in the first place.”

Jaekyoung explained, covering his eyes with Jiheon’s hand.

“After I found out you were an Omega, I thought, ‘Oh, then he can get pregnant,’ but then you mentioned you had no intention of having a child.”

‘It’s not that he didn’t keep that in mind.’

“But did you change your mind?”

“......I don’t know.”

Jaekyoung admitted, still covering his eyes with Jiheon’s hand.

“I wonder if I’m still affected by the heat right now.”

Jaekyoung said, sounding somewhat confused. Then, he released Jiheon’s hand, which he had held until then, and sat down on the bed. As soon as he settled, he spoke, tousling his bangs roughly.

“Like I said, back then, I thought you genuinely wanted to have a child. I knew I shouldn’t trust what you said during your heat, but I still thought there might be some truth in it.”

‘Yeah, that’s understandable.’

Jiheon thought to himself. He completely understood why Jaekyoung had that perspective, so he had nothing to say.

“It won’t work out this time because I took the pill, but I thought we could talk about it later and do it again properly at the right time.”

‘It feels like he’s getting ahead of himself a little bit, but well, yeah, that could be the case.’

Jiheon still understood with an open mind.

“This time was chaotic because it happened unexpectedly for both of us. So, for the next time, I thought it would be a good idea to leisurely plan ahead, take a month off, and rent a pool villa somewhere.”

‘...But isn’t this a bit too specific? How far ahead is he?’

Facing the anxious-looking Jiheon, who belatedly realized the seriousness of the situation, Jaekyoung said:

“People usually recommend Bali and Maldives for pool villas, but I like the Maldives more. I think it’s a bit more expensive but better overall.”

Apparently, he had already finished comparing pool villas in Bali and Maldives. In the end, he spoke to Jiheon with a serious expression.

“Hyung, you know what? There’s a coral reef experience in the Maldives, and there’s a saying that if you find a rare golden tropical fish, your child will be born a genius.”

“Uh...... is that so?”

“Yes. So it seems like it’s a must-see thing for honeymoon couples.”

“You’re really doing all sorts of stuff.”

Jiheon smiled briefly out of politeness and then quickly interjected before things took a strange turn.

“Jaekyoung-ah.”

He spoke in a softer tone, fearing it might sound like he was questioning.

“Have you been looking for something like that while I was sleeping?”

Only then did Jaekyoung close his mouth, looking surprised. But that only lasted a moment. He quickly answered straightforwardly:

“Yes. I’ve been searching a lot.”