ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 71: Ashes, Axes, and Awkward Encounters ( )

Hazuki slowly opened his eyes.

His body felt fresh, his mind completely clear.

"Whoa... that smoke was actually pretty good."

He stretched his arms—

Then froze.

"Huh?"

Something felt off.

The carriage was completely silent.

There were no other passengers.

Hazuki blinked, looking around.

"Wait..."

His brain finally processed the situation.

The carriage was upside down.

"THE HELL?!"

He scrambled up, or at least what he thought was "up," but his back hit the floor—

No, the ceiling?!

"Where the hell is everyone?! And WHY is the carriage UPSIDE DOWN?!"

His voice echoed in the empty carriage.

Hazuki was still sitting—or more like half-sprawled—on what used to be the ceiling of the carriage.

His legs were spread out awkwardly as he tried to make sense of the situation.

Then—

A massive shadow loomed over him.

"Huh?"

WHAM!!!

A huge battle axe suddenly CRASHED through the wooden carriage, slicing straight down—

RIGHT BETWEEN HIS LEGS.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!"

Hazuki’s soul nearly left his body.

His eyes shot down, beads of sweat forming instantly.

The axe had barely missed his most valuable treasure by mere inches.

His whole body trembled.

"OI!!! WHO THE HELL IS TRYING TO TURN ME INTO A EUNUCH?!"

"I HAVEN’T EVEN MARRIED ELLYN YET, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!"

Hazuki roared, unsheathing his sword as he kicked open what was left of the carriage.

"WHO THE FUCK IS TRYING TO CUT MY WEINER?!"

He stormed outside, ready to fight—

Then—

He froze.

Gulp.

Standing before him were several massive figures.

Minotaurs.

Towering. Muscular. Hulking.

Each one easily twice his size.

Each one holding a battle axe the size of his entire body.

Their bull-like heads snorted, mist escaping from their nostrils.

Hazuki’s hand holding the sword trembled slightly.

His eyes shifted past them.

All the other passengers?

Already gone.

Scattered. Fleed. Escaped.

Yet—

The Minotaurs weren’t chasing them.

They were just...standing there.

And they were all staring at him.

Hazuki swallowed hard.

"Uhhh... guys?"

The biggest Minotaur stepped forward, gripping his axe tightly.

"ROARRR!!!!"

Hazuki’s soul nearly left his body.

"OH FUCK THIS SHIT I’M OUT!!!"

Hazuki turned to run—

But—

There was nowhere to go.

"FUCK."

Before he could even think of a plan—

SWOOOOSH!!!

A huge battle axe came swinging down toward him.

"GAH!"

Hazuki panicked, raising his sword just in time to block it.

CLANG!!!

A shockwave ran through his arms.

His bones screamed.

"FUUUUUCK! THAT HURT!!!"

The force of the impact sent him sliding backward, his feet dragging against the dirt.

But before he could recover—

Another Minotaur swung at him from the left.

"OH SHIT—!!"

Hazuki ducked, narrowly dodging the second axe.

The blade whooshed past his face, close enough to feel the wind pressure.

His heartbeat skyrocketed.

"OI, OI, OI!!! CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS FIRST?!"

The Minotaurs didn’t respond.

They just snorted and raised their axes again.

Hazuki gritted his teeth.

"Yeah... figures."

He tightened his grip on his sword.

"Alright then, BEEFY BASTARDS!"

Hazuki gritted his teeth, blocking another massive swing.

CLANG!!!

His arms shook from the impact.

"Ugh! These bastards hit like a fucking truck!!!"

Before he could recover—

WHOOSH—WHOOSH!!!

Two more axes came swinging at him from the left and right.

Hazuki’s eyes widened.

"OH FUCK NO—!!"

At the last second—

He jumped.

SWOOOOOSH!!!

The two axes SLAMMED into each other, sparks flying.

Hazuki flipped midair, landing a few feet away.

He instinctively checked himself.

"F-Fuck... I was nearly split into TWO PARTS!!!"

His legs trembled slightly.

The Minotaurs just snorted, adjusting their grip on their weapons.

Hazuki exhaled sharply.

"Alright, I get it! You guys are strong as hell! But guess what?!"

He raised his sword, eyes narrowing.

"I AIN’T GOING DOWN THAT EASY!!!"

Hazuki felt something inside him shift.

His instincts kicked in—

And suddenly—

His mana surged through his body, flowing straight into his sword.

The blade erupted into flames.

Hazuki blinked.

"YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!! THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!!"

He grinned like a madman, spinning his flaming sword in his hand.

The Minotaurs grunted, watching the fire dance around his blade.

Hazuki pointed at them.

"SEE THIS, COWHEADS?!"

He mockingly swung his sword, letting the flames flicker wildly.

"THIS IS MY WEAPON! MY MAGIC! MY—"

The flames got a little too wild, nearly burning his own hair.

"OH SHIT—!!!"

Hazuki panicked, quickly patting his head.

The Minotaurs tilted their heads, clearly unimpressed.

Hazuki coughed, regaining his composure.

"A-Ahem! Like I was saying..."

He grinned again, stepping forward.

"TIME TO SLASH AND BURN SOME MEAT!!!"

The Minotaurs snorted and started to charge toward Hazuki.

"HURRYAAAAAA!!!"

Hazuki charged forward, his flaming sword blazing wildly.

His eyes shone with excitement—

He was having the time of his life.

One of the Minotaurs swung its massive axe straight at him.

CLAAAAANG!!!

Hazuki easily blocked it, sparks and embers flying from the impact.

He felt nothing.

"Ohhh?! So THIS is what it feels like when I can control mana?!"

His grin widened.

"WOOHOOO!!! THANK YOU, MY FUTURE WIFE! MUAHHHH!!!"

He blew a dramatic kiss toward the sky—

The Minotaurs blinked, clearly confused.

Hazuki ignored them, his blood pumping with excitement.

He shifted his stance, gripping his flaming sword tightly.

"ALRIGHT, COWHEADS!!!"

He lunged toward the nearest Minotaur.

"I WONDER IF YOUR MEAT CAN BE EATEN!!!"

The Minotaur snorted aggressively.

Hazuki grinned.

"TIME TO FIND OUT!!!"

Meanwhile—

In the Beastkin Kingdom, a grand carriage arrived at the town gate, escorted by heavily armed knights and mages.

At the front, the town guards stiffened, immediately standing at attention. When they recognized Mrs. Faria leading the group, they quickly saluted.

One of the guards noticed a small figure inside the carriage—a kid wearing a big dress. His ears twitched in confusion.

"Pardon us, Mrs. Faria... but is this your daughter?"

Mrs. Faria raised an eyebrow.

"Since when did I get married?"

"Uhhh..."

The guards exchanged nervous glances.

Mrs. Faria’s expression turned serious.

"Show some respect. This is Princess Ellyna."

Silence blanketed the scene as the guards froze.

"P-Princess Ellyna...?"

That didn’t make sense. Princess Ellyna was supposed to be a near-adult, a stunningly beautiful catfolk girl—yet standing before them was a child. The guards looked at each other, utterly confused.

Ellyn smiled, slowly closing her eyes to activate her skill. The limiter from her Absolute Eye released.

A burst of mana surrounded her body. The guards watched in suprise as her form shifted. Within seconds, the small child was gone.

Standing before them now was Princess Ellyna—her true form. A gorgeous catfolk girl, her beauty beyond compare. Her long hair swayed elegantly, and her eyes, now sharper, glowed with authority. Her curves and figure were nothing like the child from before.

The guards’ ears flattened in pure panic.

"AHHHH!!! PRINCESS ELLYNA!!!"

They immediately dropped to one knee, bowing deeply.

"WE APOLOGIZE FOR OUR RUDENESS!!!"

Ellyna giggled softly, watching them tremble.

"It’s fine. You were just doing your job."

Placing a hand on her hip, she sighed.

The guards swallowed hard.

"Y-Yes, Your Highness!!!"

Mrs. Faria glanced at the guards, then gave a sharp signal to the escort.

"Let’s move. Ensure Princess Ellyna’s safety."

The knights and mages surrounding the carriage tightened their formation. With a single command, the grand procession resumed its journey.

As the carriage rolled through the bustling streets of the Beastkin Kingdom, the people took notice. The common folk, merchants, and children all turned their heads.

Whispers spread like wildfire.

"Princess Ellyna has returned...!"

"Princess Ellyna!!!"

Excited voices filled the air as the crowds gathered, waving at the royal carriage. Ellyna, seated inside, peeked out and saw her people—their smiling faces, their joy, their admiration.

She smiled back—a pure, gentle smile. Raising her hand, she waved at them, her silver hair shimmering in the light. The crowd cheered even louder.

Mrs. Faria watched silently from beside her, observing her young lady’s expression.

"She truly belongs here."

Yet, in the depths of Ellyna’s heart, a certain "crazy uncle" crossed her mind. For just a moment, she wondered... what was he doing now?

( End of Chapter )