Online Game: I Turn Monsters Into Food 10,000x Buffs
Chapter 74: A 3,000 Year Old Hangover
"You had..." He showed her the black residue on his thumb. "Ash."
Her mouth opened. Closed. Her cat ears flattened against her hair, then shot straight up. A flush crawled from her neck to her jaw, visible even in firelight.
"I-yea,. Thanks." She didn’t move away. Her weight shifted forward, almost effortlessly, like her body had decided to close the distance her brain hadn’t approved yet.
[Dragonfangs29]: THERE SHE IS
[daisycattt]: THERE SHE IS OH MY GOD
[Kyle_Kolinski]: DID HE TOUCH HER? WHAT THE HELL DID WE MISS??
[Wolfbane_195]: I AM LOOKING RESPECTFULLY
[HiimFrog]: IM NOT
Noir appeared at his other side, vibrating with suppressed tension, her tail lashing. She pressed her shoulder against his arm, a little territorial and stared up at him with an expression that said she’d been waiting exactly twelve minutes and not a second more.
Liam dropped his hand to the top of her head and scratched gently behind one ear. "Patience," he murmured.
Noir’s lashing tail slowed; she leaned into the touch, then caught herself and straightened, clearing her throat.
Elizabeth watched this happen. Her flush deepened. Her grip on the sword tightened until her knuckles whitened, and she looked away with the exact expression of someone who’d just bitten into a lemon and was pretending it tasted fine.
Rogue pointed his camera towards Liam and the girls "As you see, the young man is showing his dominance in the pride, claiming all the females from the other young men," he said in his best David Attenborough voice.
"Rogue, get the cameras closer." Liam’s attention shifted, his hand leaving Noir’s head as he stepped toward the pit. "Berry, Johan, shields up."
Berry’s response came from behind the front line, immediate and commanding toward her guild members, "You heard him, shields NOW, move it," but when Liam glanced back at her, she was already looking at him. Those blue irises caught the firelight, burning. Her jaw was set, authoritative.
"When the steam hits the air, it’s going to expand," he said, still looking at her.
"I don’t want the mages getting second-degree soul-burns."
Berry’s mouth worked; she managed a nod. Then she turned sharply on her heel and barked another order at her guild, her tail bristling to twice its normal size.
[Chronos_Void]: Why does our guild leader sound like she’s about to cry
[Dragonfangs29]: What-what are you even cooking though?
[Samantech3364]: Is Noir single? HMU
[FootLover]: He Should Hurry up and cook so I can eat- I mean, so we can see what he’s made!
Liam turned back to the pit. The caramelisation was perfect, the marrow had separated cleanly, golden and viscous, pooling in the carved channels he’d dug earlier. A masterwork, if the system agreed.
"Liam, what... what have you made from this lich king? I can’t possibly guess, a roast? bone broth?" Hestia whispered in his ear.
Liam lifted the rocks off the top of the ’cooking pit,’ and used a large ladle. Liam positioned the ladle’s edge against the Sovereign’s sternum, right where the ribs converged. With a sharp, precise motion, he cracked the bone like a master chef breaking into a lobster shell.
What followed was not blood; a glowing green liquid pooled in the cavity, swirling with what could only be described as peppermint-scented frost. It rose in delicate vapour that caught the firelight and scattered it into a thousand tiny rainbows, beautiful and deeply, deeply wrong.
Liam dipped his finger into the liquid, ignoring the way it steamed against his skin. He brought it to his lips, tasting it with the casual confidence of a sommelier sampling wine.
His face contorted slightly. He winced, shaking his head.
"A bit dry," he announced, loud enough for the nearest onlookers to hear. "Needs more basil to cut through the three thousand years of bitterness."
From his inventory, Liam produced a small pouch of dried herbs. He sprinkled the contents over the glowing liquid with a chef’s precision, a light dusting that settled on the surface like snow.
The reaction was immediate.
The pit emitted a hiss that sounded exactly like a cocktail shaker, the sound crisp and unmistakable even over the crackling fire. The green liquid began to bubble and froth, rising up in a perfect dome that caught the moonlight.
"Mages! Protection dome, please!"
The mages put out a large dome covering everyone in the boss room.
"Mages! Protection dome, please!" The mages put out a large dome covering everyone in the boss room. The froth expanded, climbing higher until it formed what looked like a miniature mountain peak. Then, with a soft pop, it collapsed inward, revealing not a meal but what appeared to be...
"A.. soup?" Hestia whispered into Liam’s ear.
The green liquid had turned into a beautiful, bubbling, refreshing drink that smelled like an ice cream or a hard candy. How could something so horrifying and massive become so mouth-watering?
[Chronos_Void]: I DON’T UNDERSTAND, BUT I’M IMPRESSED [Dragonfangs29]: IS THAT EDIBLE? CAN YOU EAT THAT??
[Matthesage]: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
Liam reached out and scooped some up with a cup and took a big gulp.
His HUD flashed before him a few different screens popping up. 𝚏𝗿𝗲𝐞𝐰𝚎𝕓𝐧𝚘𝘃𝗲𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝕞
[Congratulations on discovering a new recipe!]
[Basil & Lich Mint 3000 Year Old Margarita
[BUFF: THE ETERNAL HAPPY HOUR]
[FOR LIAM]:
Duration: 24 Hours.
Effect: [10,000x Strength & Agility]. Liam moves so fast that the gods forget to render his footsteps.
Passive: [Absolute Sobriety of the Void]: Immune to all Fear, Charm, or Confusion effects. Liam is too "focused" on the
flavour profile to realise he’s being attacked by cosmic horrors.
[TOOL TIP: THE STEALTHIEST SLAY]
Tactical Perception: The Iron Guild and the Ruby-Eyed stragglers are currently 100% convinced they are watching a cooking show. The System is the only witness to the fact that the most feared Necromancer in the game was technically beaten to death with a ladle and a pouch of herbs.
"Liam just achieved the impossible: he turned an S-Rank World Boss into a refreshing beverage, and no one even noticed the fight was over."