Online Game: I Turn Monsters Into Food 10,000x Buffs
Chapter 75: Don’t Drink and Drive the Carriage
[Effects on others]
Mental State: [Aggressive Optimism]: Fear is deleted. Players will look at a 100-foot-tall dragon and think, "I bet he gives great hugs."
Duration:5 hours [+500% Strength & Agility].
"The ’Good Boy’ Mechanic: There is a 10% chance that instead of an attack, your character will attempt to [Pet] the enemy."
Liam’s gaze widened as the screens flickered, the words glowing like a beacon in the dim light. "BASIL & LICH MINT 3000 YEAR OLD MARGARITA," he read aloud. "Oh yeah." He put his hand over the pot of bones and margarita and said in a commanding tone, "Absorb."
[Absorption] skill has been triggered.
The bones, rainbows, and liquid pulled into his chest like a whirlpool collapsing inward. Liam wobbled to the side, his massive frame tilting like a felled tree in slow motion.
Then he burped.
Elizabeth was at his side before the sound finished echoing off the cavern walls, her hands pressing against his arm, fingers barely spanning the width of his bicep. "Are you okay??"
The mint and basil on his breath hit her full in the face. She didn’t pull back.
"Y-yeah." A hiccup broke the word in half. "Just a bit buzzed." Another hiccup. "First time drinking and all that."
His tail swayed behind him, loose and heavy, brushing against Elizabeth’s hip. She stiffened but didn’t move; his ears drooped slightly, the white fur catching the firelight, and one flopped forward over his brow.
Liam’s chat exploded.
[Dragonfangs29]: WHAT THE HELL IS A LICH MARGARITA??
[Samantech3364]: IS-IS THIS SAFE?
[Chronos_Void]: DO NOT FEED IT TO MY BOY ROGUE
"You smell nice," he said.
Elizabeth’s entire body went rigid.
"What?"
"Like a flower shop that also sells swords." He hiccuped again. "It’s good."
[Jimmy_Shim]: HE’S DRUNK FLIRTING, THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
[Dragonfangs29]: "FLOWER SHOP THAT SELLS SWORDS" DOES THIS WORK?
[Kyle_Kolinski]: ok but is the ruby-eyed guys still alive or?
Berry appeared at his other side, her tiger tail swishing with poorly contained energy. She leaned in, one hand on her hip, the other reaching up to steady his shoulder. Her fingers pressed into the muscle there, and she didn’t remove them.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" she asked, lifting her free hand with three fingers extended. Her orange gaze flickered with amusement, but her grip on his shoulder tightened a fraction.
Liam squinted, "Six."
"Three."
"Oh." He tilted his head. His ear brushed Berry’s wrist. She yanked her hand back like she’d touched a hot stove, then immediately put it back, pretending nothing happened.
"You’re fine," she declared, her jaw set. "Clearly fine. Just stand up straight."
"I am standing straight."
"You’re leaning on me."
He was, his weight had shifted, and his side pressed against hers, the heat of him radiating through his thin black shirt. Berry’s throat bobbed. She didn’t push him off.
He glanced at the bubbling concoction, the vibrant green swirling with hints of frosty white. "A margarita," he mused, tilting his head. "Probably not what you expect from a lich king." He took another sip, savoring the unexpectedly refreshing taste, a cool burst of mint and sweetness that danced on his tongue. The warmth of the fire contrasted with the chill of the drink, a delightful juxtaposition.
"IT’S ACTUALLY GOOD," he declared, his voice rising above the chatter. The crowd leaned in, eyes wide with curiosity. "I think it’s a buff potion."
Noir perked up, her eyes gleaming with interest. "What kind of buff?" she asked, her tail flicking back and forth, betraying her excitement.
"Let’s find out," Liam replied with a grin, raising the cup like a trophy. He could feel the energy of the players around him, their anticipation palpable.
Elizabeth stepped closer, her expression torn between skepticism and intrigue. "You’re really going to drink that?"
"Why not?" Liam shrugged, taking another deep gulp. The cool liquid slid down his throat, invigorating him. A surge of energy pulsed through him, and his HUD lit up again.
His heart raced. "Okay, this is definitely worth it." He turned to face the group, the corners of his mouth lifting into a confident smirk. "Anyone else want to try?"
Berry’s eyes narrowed, a playful challenge sparking between them. "If you’re so sure, let’s see how many you can make."
"Deal," Liam shot back, already rummaging through his inventory for more ingredients. The thrill of creation surged within him, and the world outside faded as he focused on the task ahead.
The chat erupted once more.
[Matthesage]: Does it come with a straw made of despair? Asking for a friend."
[CMurdock]: Imagine being the Lich King, waiting centuries to end the world, and you end up as a ’refreshing beverage.
[Wolfbane_195]: "I’m not saying I’d commit a felony for a sip... but 42 kingdoms can’t be that hard to avoid."
[Jimmy_Shim]: "DO NOT LET ROGUE NEAR THE CARRIAGE. We don’t need a 5-star wanted level in the middle of a raid!"
[Congratulations on killing the Ice Lich King Of The Catacombs. As a first clear reward, you may choose one of three items.]
1. [Portable Level 3 Hearth]
2. [Ability to communicate with all undead entities]
3. [A Lich Soul Stone: Allows the user to teleport to the boss room in this raid at will.]
Liam stopped. His whole body went rigid, the notification hung in front of him, golden text pulsing against the frost-choked air of the boss chamber, and his tail shot straight up as someone had electrified it.
"A Level 3 Portable Hearth."
He said it flat, the way a man says the name of his firstborn.
"Liam." Rogue’s tone shifted. "The teleport stone is clearly..."
"I can cook anywhere." His red gaze hadn’t left option one. "Anywhere, no guild kitchen, no waiting and no sharing."
"You can farm the Lich infinitely with the soul stone." Berry planted herself in his peripheral vision, arms crossed beneath her chest, pushing it up in a way that was probably strategic and definitely effective. "Think about the recipes, the rare drops. The experience alone would..."
[TOOL TIP: THE LIQUID LICH LUNACY]
Status: Party-Wide Inebriation / Tactical Happy Hour.
The Vintage: A 3,000-Year-Old Margarita brewed in a skeletal rib-shaker. It’s minty, it’s yummy and it’s roughly 400% soul alcohol by volume.
Legal Disclaimer: This drink is a Class-A Felony in 42 Kingdoms. If you see a guard, stop glowing.
Safety Warning: DO NOT OPERATE CARRIAGES. Driving a horse or wagon while under the influence of King Thalassos will result in a "DUI" (Driving Under the Influence of Undead). The horses will judge you.