keebbles's review on Manga: STRIKER: Independent Beast Tamer (2/5)
Review for
STRIKER: Independent Beast Tamer
keebbles
Member8 months ago
Kinda bad
First problem is POV and Voice.
Omniscient active tense is beyond weird.
It's narrating everything as it happens.
Story better served in first person or third.
Second explaining everything twice or more. But then changing on the fly as if author didn't remember what they just said.
Third call MC to test by name. After results judge asks him his name. Not after others which might distract judge, but first.
Fourth there's no hook other than a mcguffin gold pill MC uses.
No mention of actual parent's power, bloodlines, or their levels and what MC inherited or his potential.
If a first novel, editor probably had to drink to handle all the unnecessary wording.
If pov was chosen to stand out, it failed. There's a reason for standards.
Omniscient active tense is beyond weird.
It's narrating everything as it happens.
Story better served in first person or third.
Second explaining everything twice or more. But then changing on the fly as if author didn't remember what they just said.
Third call MC to test by name. After results judge asks him his name. Not after others which might distract judge, but first.
Fourth there's no hook other than a mcguffin gold pill MC uses.
No mention of actual parent's power, bloodlines, or their levels and what MC inherited or his potential.
If a first novel, editor probably had to drink to handle all the unnecessary wording.
If pov was chosen to stand out, it failed. There's a reason for standards.