"Jo-Pil!" I heard their calls from the room.

They looked around but couldn’t find me and then heard the water rushing in the bathroom.

I wanted to hide, wanted to run, but there was no place to run, so I sat on the floor, hugging my knees tightly as the water rained down from the shower.

I didn’t look up when the bathroom door hit the wall. The sound just made me curl tighter, pressing my forehead against my knee and digging my fingers into my arm.

Different color pheromones hit the small room like a physical weight, all tangled up with my own strawberry scent, but right now, it didn’t feel like love. It felt like being hunted.

"Jo-Pil."

It was Jin-Yeok. His voice was low, but at the same time, he was alarmed, seeing me soaked and curled up on the floor. I flinched, my splash-back hitting the shower wall.

"Don’t," I choked out, my voice cracking. "Don’t... touch me. Stay back."

I could see them through the blur of water dropping from my hair. All four of them, crowded in the doorway of my bathroom.

They looked like giants in this tiny space, their white suits shadowed and their eyes dark.

They were probably fighting their own instincts to just lung at me, but I couldn’t even think about what they were going through as they stood in the space where my pheromone was the thickest.

"Jo-Pil, you’re shivering," Seo-Jun said. He sounded rough, his breathing heavy. "You’re going to get a fever."

"I don’t care! Just don’t come any closer," I screamed, finally looking up at them. My vision was hazy with tears and heat. "Why did you break it? I just wanted to be alone! Is that too much to ask? Or am I still just a bird you bought to look at?"

The silence that followed was sharp. I saw Ki-hoon’s hand twitch, his face going pale even under that flush.

"You said I was free," I whispered, the cold water stinging my eyes. These words that came out next were words that I absolutely never thought to utter. "But I don’t live like I’m free. At all," I yelled, despite my inner man telling me to shut my mouth. "There are cameras." They were erected for my safety. "You never let me stay out of your sight." I don’t want to be alone either. "And you don’t give me any privacy."

Please, stop it. I don’t mean any of this.

"You didn’t end the slavery, you just dressed me up in silk and gold to make me believe I was free."

I didn’t mean any of that. I didn’t want to hurt them with these cruel words.

Memories began to flood back again. Traumatic memories. The way I’d scream until my throat was raw, the way they choked me, broke me, left me wheezing until I blacked out.

It felt like it was happening all over again. Like the moment I let myself succumb to my biological condition, they would rip me to shreds.

Right now, I could not tell the difference between the man who loved me and the man who owned me.

"Jo-Pil..." Jin-Yeok started, but he didn’t move. He stayed right where he was, his hands clenched at his sides.

"Get out," I said, my voice dropping to a trembling whisper. "Please. If you love me... if any of that was real or if the pain is just in my head then... get out."

I expected them to argue. I expected them to tell me I was being irrational because of the heat. I expected them to stay and try to work things out... even if it meant resulting to force. But they didn’t.

Min-Cheol was the first to back away. He looked like he’d been slapped, his blue eyes filled with a kind of hurt that made my chest ache, but he didn’t try to cross the line. He just turned and walked out of the bedroom entirely.

Then Seo-Jun. He glared at the floor, hissed something under his breath that sounded like a curse, and followed.

Ki-hoon stayed for a second longer. He looked at me huddled in the water. "I didn’t know..." he said, his voice flat and hollow. "I’m sorry, Jo-Pil. I didn’t know you felt that way about the cameras."

I watched the hurt in his eyes and my own expression contorted, pain spreading over my chest.

"We’ll take them all away. We’ll give you your privacy," I could hear his voice breaking as he clenched his fists. "So, don’t do anything to hurt yourself."

My heart was raging, it was panicking and I began to gasp for air softly and then harshly.

"We’ll be in the hallway. We won’t come in until you call us. So don’t hesitate to call out, okay?"

I didn’t respond. I was listening to the heavy thumping of my own heart, and the way it seemed like I was going to get abandoned once again.

This wasn’t what I wanted. This wasn’t the real feeling in my heart. This anger... This hate... It couldn’t be.

Ki-hoon turned and walked out, my eyes staying on his broad shoulders as he stepped out with heavy strides.

Jin-Yeok was the last. He didn’t say a word either. Ki-hoon had said it all. He reached out and pulled the bathroom door shut as much as he could, but he gazed at me for a long while before finally turning away.

Inwardly, I was screaming, but my voice was trapped. I was caged in my very own body, pleading and begging them not to turn their backs on me.

I didn’t want to be left alone. Please, don’t leave me in the dark. Don’t abandon me. I cried, but there was no one to hear the words that raged in my heart.

I sat there for a long time, the cold soaking into my bones. My heat was still screaming, my body was on fire, and I wanted them—I wanted their touch so badly it was a physical ache—but the fear was louder.